It is very overwhelming and heartbreaking to hear your crush ask to be just friends with you instead of reciprocating your advances. You have probably nurtured romantic feelings for her, flirted with, visualized a relationship with her and already made plans for the big question.
All this while, she has sent out similar energy and showed you affection and care. These signs of care from her would have preoccupied your thoughts and put her in your radar as your future girlfriend.
Unfortunately, she just just comes up and declares her intentions to keep the entire situationship simple and have you as a mere friend. Though this development could be heartbreaking, especially if you’re already in love with her, you have to move on.
How To Respond When A Girl Says She Just Wants To Be Friends
If she just wants to be friends with you, it implies she doesn’t love you much to the extent of starting a relationship with you. Maybe she sees a friendship with you as more profitable than a relationship with you.
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For her to clearly tell you that she just wants to be friends, there is an indication that she had already “friend zoned” you and was just waiting for the appropriate time to tell you. Since she just wants to be friends, this is the best way you should handle the news.
1. Don’t push her further or try to beg her
The decision she has taken was well thought out. She didn’t decide in a hurry to be just friends with you. And there would be no gain in trying to persuade her. Begging her to reconsider her decision is just putting yourself in a more complicated position.
You deserve the best and someone loving you out of pity is the least you should think of. She just wants to be friends with you, accept it and move on.
2. Don’t entertain a friendship with her
If she didn’t find you worthy of a relationship, you shouldn’t consider a friendship with her. She just wants to be friends with you, does not mean she loves you. Your heart has already been broken and keeping her around you would be a source of emotional trauma for you.
If she just wants to be friends, cut all ties with her and move on with your life.
3. Don’t lurk around
There’s no need to stay around her because you think she might change her mind and consider a relationship with you. You may end up losing other meaningful connections and opportunities.
If she just wants to be friends with you, keep it at that level and channel your energy somewhere else. If eventually, she returns to you for a relationship, you can then consider her.
4. Focus on yourself
It is possible that your crush just wants to be friends because they wish to concentrate on themselves, their ambitions, career and hobby.
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You can as well do the same. As she just wants to be friends, cut off your feelings, attention and time and channel them to yourself. Focus on your career, hobby and ambitions. If you refocus your attention, you may not have time to get heartbroken over the news.
5. Spend more time with friends
Spending more time with friends is a very reliable coping mechanism for emotional breakdown. With your friends around you, your thoughts about her would reduce significantly. Spending more time with your friends would set you up for other relationship opportunities and a platform to heal.
6. Visit a therapist
If after trying these methods and somehow can’t still stop thinking about them, you may need to visit a relationship therapist. Tell them your experience, what you feel and what you want. With their experience and neutrality, they would be in a better position to walk you through the heartbreak.
Why she just wants to be friends
As you may guess, there must be a reason why she just wants to be friends. She may not have the courage to explain in detail her reasons for not wanting a relationship with you but the reasons are often related to the following.
1. She never loved you
She just wants to be friends with you because she doesn’t love you. You’re the one who misunderstood her affection and actions.
The way you interpreted her feelings is different from her intentions. You’re probably the one who was thinking of a relationship while she just saw it as a mere friendship.
This is why it is advised to be clear with what you want from someone in the early stages of the talking stage before feelings are developed.
2. She figured out qualities she does not like
Another reason why she just wants to be friends is because of some qualities she saw in you. These qualities or attitude might be her deal breakers and there’s no compromise on this. Staying as just friends with you may be her only option not to hurt you badly.
It is normal even in relationships. We all have our deal breakers and no matter the level of intimacy or affection, once we figure out our deal breaker, the relationship ends.
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3. She is not for a relationship
Truthfully, relationships can be so demanding. It takes time, attention, finance, and commitment to make a relationship work.
Maybe she is not emotionally fit to go into a relationship with you at the moment and would just prefer mere friendship where much wouldn’t be expected of her.
4. She wants to focus on herself
She just wants to be friends because she needs to channel enough energy and time into herself, her ambitions and career.
Being alone would offer her clarity about what she needs and how to get it. She just wants to figure out herself and be a better version of herself before going into a relationship.
Take away
If she just wants to be friends, you must respect the decision and move on. Lurking around her won’t help the matter but would only cause you more pain.
Get yourself focused on yourself and channel your energy into your affairs. If she truly loves, she would come back to you and if she doesn’t, life goes on.