Respect and utmost regard are indispensable tools for a healthy and successful marriage. Irrespective of the love and kindness, if these two attributes are missing, the marriage is bound to turn rocky. As a spouse, it is expected of you to watch out for these attributes.
Most often, the marriages do not maintain the high note on which they started. Along the line, love, trust and respect wane down, opening doors for disrespect and disregard. With time, you may notice signs your husband doesn’t value you.
How Do You Know If Your Husband Doesn’t Value You?
He now disregards you and takes decisions without seeking your consent. Your opinions no longer have effects and your situations do not perturb him any longer. At this moment, you don’t need a soothsayer to remind you that your mate no longer values you.
Because when a spouse is valued in a relationship, their opinions are often prioritized and there’s a continuous and consistent show of affection, kindness, support and love.
However, if your significant other no longer displays these signs, it is not the end of the world. There’s still time to turn things around. But you have to use our “signs your husband doesn’t value you” to figure out if he’s truly no longer into the partnership.
15 Signs Your Husband Doesn’t Value You
1. There’s no genuine efforts from him
The success of every relationship depends on the commitment levels of the partners. It takes two people to make a relationship work. If he values you, he’d make efforts to ensure the sustenance of the relationship. It is obvious your mate doesn’t value you when you’re the only one making the sacrifices and commitments.
2. Significant dates and anniversaries are forgotten
When you’re in love, you earnestly look forward to the anniversaries of your partner. Important dates about them are prioritized with concrete plans. But when your man no longer considers you a valuable asset, he’d become nonchalant towards these important dates and anniversaries.
He would always come up with excuses why he forgot your birthday and your relationship anniversary.
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3. Your friendships outside the relationship do not disturb him
It is natural to keep a subconscious watch over how your partner relates outside the relationship. The friends your partner keeps should be your concern, especially when you cherish them. Because jealousy is unavoidable when you’re in love.
But if your husband seems uninterested about the male friends you keep or how you relate with the male folks, it implies he doesn’t rate you.
4. Starting conversations
Signs your husband doesn’t value you? You’re the only one initiating contacts. Relationships are a two-way thing and require the unreserved commitments of the partners.
When you’re the only one initiating contacts either through phone calls, texts, or verbally, it doesn’t speak well of your partner’s interest in the marriage.
5. He doesn’t make you feel special anymore
You could remember when the relationship started, how your mate put in honest efforts to make you happy and appreciated. The frequent dates and surprises were in abundance.
But now, he’s finding it difficult to go out of his way to make you feel special. He’s no longer ready to do the extraordinary for you. This is among the signs your husband doesn’t value you.
6. Your opinions are no longer needed
As a wife, your opinions should matter so much to your husband. It is even advised that he shouldn’t take concrete decisions without consulting you. These things are natural in a healthy marriage where you’re valuable.
The opposite becomes the case when he longer values or respects you. His career decisions, projects and promotions are kept away from you. Even if you manage to offer advice, it is rarely heeded to.
7. Lack of respect when talking to you
Signs your husband doesn’t value you? There’s rudeness and arrogance in how he speaks with you. Your mate doesn’t implore respect and kindness when talking to you; rather, he resorts to sheer rudeness.
8. Fighting without making up
Fighting is inevitable in intimate relationships because there would be clashes of interests. What matters mainly is the aftermath of these fights. Does he extend a handshake of forgiveness or subject you to the silent treatment? Generally, your husband’s reaction after a big fight speaks a lot about how he sees you.
9. He flirts
Flirtatious lifestyle is a direct disregard and disrespect towards your significant other. It is a betrayal and often leaves the partner emotionally shattered. A man that values you wouldn’t condone straying or sneaking around with other women.
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10. You pay for everything
Signs your husband doesn’t value you? You pay for everything. Everything about you is your responsibility, he doesn’t care about how you look. Caring is very important in marriage and can only be shown through the little things we do for our mates. A significant other that loves you would always make time to take you out, get you flowers and gifts.
11. Seldom available for you
Work and projects would always dig a big hole in your time. We’re often saddled with responsibilities at workplaces and career pursuits to the extent of forgetting other things. But not to the extent of forgetting the ones we love. No one could be too busy to check up on someone they love.
If he’s never available for you, it is not because of work or career, it is because he doesn’t value you. You’d be surprised there are other women he’d spend the entire day talking with.
12. He only calls when he needs you
Irrespective of his “tight schedule” he’d quickly call you when he needs your attention, support or assistance. His unavailability doesn’t come in when there’s a need for you. Such selfishness is another among signs your husband doesn’t value you.
13. Diminished sexual intimacy
According to a research published by marriage .com, relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction are positively correlated. High sexual cravings keep the relationship afloat and the partners emotionally attached.
If he begins to keep away from sexual intimacy, it is an indication he doesn’t love you anymore. He avoids having intercourse with you unless in desperate needs.
14. You don’t spend quality time together
Signs your husband doesn’t value you? He no longer spends quality time with you. When you’re in love, you naturally crave for the presence of the person you love. Every second spent with them is worthwhile.
The opposite becomes the case when your significant other does not find you valuable any longer. He intentionally boycotts every opportunity to spend quality time with you. Instead, he enjoys spending such time with friends and colleagues.
15. He’s attached to his phone
Signs your husband doesn’t value you? Instead of spending quality time with you, he’d stay glued to his phone and other electronics. These objects provide him the companionship he needs instead of you.
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What should I do when my husband doesn’t value me?
It is very simple. If he doesn’t value you any longer, remind him that you’re still valuable. Don’t allow his rudeness and gaslighting to affect your self-confidence and self worth. Here are tips on how to react when your husband doesn’t value you anymore.
1. Optimize absence
Over familiarity brings disrespect. Maybe your husband doesn’t value you anymore because you have been so caring and loving towards him. Some men do not know how to appreciate good things. It is in their nature to underestimate the sacrifices of their spouses. If your husband is this type of man, it is high time you disappeared.
Take a break from your wifey duties and concentrate much on your work and children if you have any. You don’t have to disrespect him but you have to make sure your absence is well felt. Stop making attempts to assuage things. It is your turn to play the game.
2. Stop initiating contact
He’s become too relaxed because you’re the one always initiating contacts and conversations. He now feels he’s entitled to your attention without giving you his. That has to change as soon as possible.
Stop being the first to send texts, make phones or start a verbal conversation. This would limit the attention he’s getting from you and would see how long he’d manage without your affection and care.
3. Suspend helping
There are many sacrifices you’re making in the marriage which go unrecognized or unappreciated. It is time to stop helping and focus on yourself.
If you are truly valuable, it wouldn’t take much time before he comes to reality.
4. Keep an open communication channel
It is a given that your husband would eventually come seeking your attention if he’s no longer getting them on a platter. The value he enjoys in the relationship without appreciating cannot go unnoticed.
This is why you have to create room for him to come around when he realizes how valuable you were to him.
What are the signs of disrespect in marriage?
The signs of disrespect in marriage include flirting, distrustful of your partner, little to no attention on partner’s opinions, diminished sexual intimacy, public insult and ignorance of important dates and anniversaries.
Bottom Line
Signs your husband doesn’t value you are often glaring and very easy to decipher if you’re not beclouded by love. These signs are manipulative and could impact your self worth if not challenged.
When you notice signs your husband doesn’t value you, you have to use our tips on what to do when your husband doesn’t value you. These tips would bring him back to reality. Meanwhile, if the disrespect persists, it is advised you contact a relationship therapist.