Long-distance relationships are not often what everyone wishes for; it just happens. Maybe, before you could realize it, you’re already deeply in love with the person and the best you could do at that moment is to put in efforts to make your LDR sustainable.
It can be a friend you met on the internet and you started talking. Gradually, you build a friendship with them and find so much happiness and peace of mind whenever talking with them.
The feelings are quite genuine and sensitive for you to ignore. And the next stop is to start building an intimate relationship with this person.
Succinctly, LDR is a relationship dynamic where the partners are not close to each other. They might be living in different states, countries or continents. From my own experience, we lived in different states and truly, I experienced the brunt of long-distance relationships.
It starts gradually and at the beginning there are serious motivations that distance would never be a barrier. Each of the parties are pretty eager to make the sacrifices for the relationship to work.
But, the reality of staying in an intimate relationship with someone who is miles away would always come and you’d notice the 3 harsh facts about long distance relationships.
3 harsh facts about long distance relationships
1. Unending loneliness
The loneliness that comes with long distance relationships is often unbearable. You’re in a relationship with someone, who’s meant to keep you company but you’re just lonely in and out. Despite the long minutes on facetime or WhatsApp, you can’t still get enough of them and your mind would be busy creating imaginations.
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In intimate relationships, communication is healthy but it is not enough. Intimate relationships rely largely on emotional and physical connection. When either of these is missing, it is just a matter of time before you get tired of the whole affair. Unending loneliness is very much among the 3 harsh facts about long distance relationships.
You feel you’re in a relationship with your phone or laptop, instead of your partner. Everything is done through the phone and over the internet. There’s no way you could get a perfect understanding of their emotions and they would also have difficulties understanding yours.
No dates, no anniversary parties; it is as if your life is on pause. You’d see everyone around you moving on with their partners, celebrating anniversaries together, turning up for events together and taking cute pictures. But you’re already helpless because of distance.
During my relationship with Jacy, I had difficulties staying a day without hearing from her. Despite the schedule we created, I wasn’t getting enough of the attention needed. It was as if I was in a relationship with myself. Though we enjoyed the emotional attachment, we really felt lonely more often.
2. Diminished emotional connection and higher tendencies of infidelity
The beginning of every intimate relationship is always rosy and adventurous, the partners are deeply attracted to each other and there will be immense emotional connection. However, the biggest question remains; will these adventures stand the test of time?
As time passes by, the love shared by the partners is shaken and tested, if there’s no commitment, the relationship may even hit the wall. Long distance relationships are no exceptions. They also face similar challenges obtainable in every relationship, though it might be more acute in LDRs.
Being separated by a long distance for a long time, may cause the partners in long distance relationships to start losing the attraction and closeness they started with. Every intimate relationship needs physical closeness to remain afloat, where such physical connection is lacking, it would be a matter of time before the partners start exploring other options.
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At this level, the possibility of infidelity cannot be completely ruled out. The human body functions on hormones more than emotions. When there’s no physical intimacy to complete the surge in emotions, infidelity might become the escape route.
Talking about the 3 harsh facts about long distance relationships, the high chances of infidelity is of greatest concern. I had similar challenges during my LDR with Jacy. Despite our efforts to remain connected through facetime, we still found ourselves doubting our trust for each other.
3. The challenges after the end of LDR and the cost of running an LDR
I find it funny when people say a long distance relationship is a better option because it is cost effective. Very funny indeed. Because you people in long distance relationships do not spend money on dates and parties, it is thought that running a LDR does not require much cost.
Contrary to the widespread assumptions, people in a long distance relationship spend a lot. Aside from the sums that are spent on data and airtime, there are also a lot to be spent on gifts. When you’re having a relationship with someone living in the next street, you can easily visit them and present your gift.
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But in an LDR, the cost of getting the gifts might even be lower than the cost of sending them across. For me, I like sending monthly gifts to my significant other. During my LDR with Jacy, it was not easy making waybills on a monthly basis and everything was a huge financial concern for us.
3 harsh facts about long distance relationships.
Eventually, if you’re lucky enough and your long distance relationship ends at the altar, it then means your hurdles just started. You have to start making adjustments here and there. There are areas where you and your partner would have incompatibility issues because you were quite far from figuring them out very early.
The cost of relocating and settling down would certainly dig a hole in your savings. It would be like you just started another relationship.
Bottom Line
Though we’ve uncovered the 3 harsh facts about long distance relationships, it does not imply that LDRs are not sustainable or healthy. Long distance relationships can actually work and succeed.
It relies largely on the commitment of the partners. How effective their communication is and the genuine eagerness to make things work. In long distance relationships, love is not just enough to keep the relationship afloat.
However, if you make attempts and your long distance relationship is not going the path you wished for, the best option is to talk with your partner and see if there’s a possibility of ending things on mutual understanding. It will be very childish to ghost them.
LDRs are all about the commitment, communication, connection and desire to sustain it.