Cheating is a very sensitive issue in relationships and marriages, it could mar the trust that has been built over time. This is why partners who indulge in cheating, do it with utmost secrecy and carefulness.
Attempts have been made consistently by cheating partners to justify their actions, but such claims and gaslighting have not been enough to prevent the guilty conscience of cheating.
Catching your partner in the act of infidelity is traumatic, and could pose an emotional and psychological challenge. To avoid this psychological stress, some partners make attempts to avoid seeing their significant other in the act.
However, for the purpose of clarity and facts, partners could go a long way in trying to verify their thoughts about their better halves.
Going forward, to be caught cheating is not exactly the issue. What should be of greatest concern are the circumstances that led to the cheating and the reaction of the unfaithful partner. We therefore ask: what happens after being caught cheating?
READ ALSO: 7 Signs Your Wife Just Slept With Someone Else
What To Do When You Get Caught Cheating
1. Don’t put up any defense mechanism
You might be poised to justify your actions because of how inattentive your partner has been to you recently, but such a defense mechanism would only escalate everything.
Trying to defend your infidelity would convince your partner that you intentionally cheated on them, making them more depressed. It is possible that there could be a tonne of reasons why you resorted to cheating, but they are still not enough to justify the betrayal.
2. Accept the guilt and own up to the mistake
Once you’re caught cheating, you will be filled with guilt and your conscience will despise you. You can only avoid such feelings if you’re not truly in love with your partner.
Otherwise, the thought of being caught in such a messy situation, by someone you ardently cherish, is very demoralizing and heart wrenching.
To alleviate their anger, you have to own up to your mistake and accept every guilt. You shouldn’t try to explain things, just remain silent and ponder on the way forward.
3. Don’t try to put up any explanation
You have been unexpectedly in the most embarrassing situation. Trying to explain anything would put you into a more tighter corner and give your partner reasons to act.
Even your explanation could be laughable because of your already disoriented mindset. However, the best you could do is to start pleading and earnestly show your remorse and regret.
READ ALSO: The Difference Between “Love You” And “I Love You”
4. Do not blame your partner
Don’t even think of pushing the blame to your significant other. You may be poised to blame them for not being able to give enough attention, care, affection and love, which ultimately pushed you into infidelity.
Remember, there is no justification for cheating. If you were not getting enough care, attention, affection and love from your partner, the best you could do is to quit the relationship honorably.
Trying to gaslight your partner by blaming him for your infidelity, would further shake them emotionally and make them more depressive. You have to save them this trauma by owning up to your mistake.
5. Quickly make a decision
Before you started cheating on your partner, you must have seen some qualities in your new lover that juxtaposed them with your significant other.
You have to ask yourself honestly if these qualities are good enough for you to leave your partner for them.
Resorting to cheating means there’s already an emotional barrier between you and your partner. Do you wish to maintain this barrier? Or you’re just exploiting your lover during this challenging situation in your relationship?
You have to quickly put things together and make your decision; either to remain with your “potential ex” or move in with your lover. Making this decision would give you a better angle to approach the crises.
6. Keep everything within your relationship
It is not necessary for you to stoop too low by involving third parties. This is your relationship and everything that happens should remain in your relationship.
If at all you lack ideas on how to handle the situation, you should contact a therapist who can neutrally advise you. Talking to friends and family about the situation would bring so much disrespect to you and your partner.
7. Allow them to make their decision
Your partner would need some time to come to terms with your infidelity. They’d evaluate the possible reasons why you chose such a path, your contributions to the relationship and what the future holds for you all.
It would be a tough moment. You need to give them space to process everything. They might possibly give you the silent treatment, but make sure you don’t interfere.
READ ALSO: Things Covert Narcissists Say – 24 Phrases And Their Meaning
What Should I Do If I Caught My Partner Cheating?
You have to calm yourself down so you don’t do anything you’d regret. Keep your emotions in check to avoid acting violently. It might be difficult to accept the reality, but going violent would escalate the situation.
Once you’ve calmed yourself down, quickly decide whether to continue with the relationship or end it. This would require you to consider their contributions to the relationship and how good you have been to them lately.
If they’re truly remorseful of the situation without making any attempt to justify her actions or blame you, you should consider a second chance for them. But if they quickly gaslight you by trying to apportion blames, you then have to consider calling it quits. Because, they would continue to see reasons to cheat.
Can you cheat but still be in love?
Some people can cheat without adjusting the emotional and psychological presence of their partners. In this situation, the cheating is solely aimed at satisfying se*ual cravings, without any emotional attachment.
Though it is possible to cheat and still be in love, the partner cheated upon would likely not accept this theory.
What Are The Negative Effects Of Cheating?
Insecurity amongst the partners, destruction of trust built over time, psychological and emotional trauma, frequent disagreement over trivial issues and mutual hatred and disdain are the possible negative effects of cheating.
Can A Relationship Go Back To Normal After Cheating?
It is practically difficult for a relationship to retain its fun and excitement once there’s a case of infidelity. The odds are very low, because trust has been broken and there’s a consistent feeling of betrayal.
It would take a lot of time for the victim to recover from the emotional and psychological trauma. At the end, they’d re-evaluate their views and opinions about the unfaithful partner. It is very unlikely for a relationship to go back to normal after cheating.