Things Covert Narcissists Say – 24 Phrases And Their Meaning

What is Covert Narcissism?

Covert narcissism is a form of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). It has the basic signs and traits of narcissism – lack of empathy, Self-centredness, inflated sense of self-importance. Generally, covert narcissists are vulnerable and largely introverts. This is the major difference between them and overt narcissists.

According to research, covert narcissists are shy, very sensitive to criticisms and corrections, socially withdrawn, and have a hidden sense of grandiosity. In a broader outlook, covert narcissism can also be referred to as introverted narcissism or closet narcissism.

Because of their hypersensitivity, covert narcissists are very unlikely to maintain a healthy relationship. They are socially withdrawn and very awful at keeping friendships.

Their partners find it very difficult to identify the major traits of covert narcissism, thereby inhibiting their chances of avoiding a relationship with them. However, we’ve compiled 20 things covert narcissists say. These were developed by experts after research and over time, it has been proved to be true. 

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Things Covert Narcissists Say

24 Things Covert Narcissists Say

Covert narcissists are experts in emotional subjugation and abuse. These are part of the strategies they implore to control and manipulate their victims. What covert narcissists say is very similar to what people say while trying to gaslight someone. Here are the 20 phrases used by covert narcissists.

  1. I didn’t hurt you, you hurt yourself. This phrase is used by covert narcissists to avoid blames. Their ego and self-admiration cannot allow them to take responsibilities where necessary.
  1. It is all in your head. You can hear this from covert narcissists when you’re trying to confront them over cheating or other allegations. Instead of giving a good explanation, they’d make you feel you’re wrong, by twisting everything.
  1. You are crazy. Covert narcissists are not comfortable with outspoken and critical partners. ‘You’re crazy’ is what they say to make you feel less important.
  1. I had no idea this would hurt you. Things covert narcissists say are always aimed at undermining the self worth of their partners. They use this particular phrase when they are caught cheating. Instead of rendering an apology, they’d twist their partner’s grip on reality. Making the partners consider themselves oversensitive.
  1. I was joking. Covert narcissists are very comfortable with playing over the emotions of their partners. 
  1. You are a bad person. They’d make you appear terribly bad. 
  1. Why so defensive all the time. Covert narcissists do not like to be criticized or made to appear less intelligent. Your attempts to make your points would be considered a defensive mechanism by a covert narcissist.
  1. You’re so insecure. Instead of quelling your insecurities by retracting their steps, covert narcissists would accuse you of being unnecessary insecure.
  1. It is not a big deal. Covert narcissists use this phrase to trivialize your concerns.
  1. I am like this because my parents were so mean to me. Defending their actions is what they like doing. They make you see reasons for their lack of empathy and compassion. 
  1. You may have deserved it. This comes in when they resort to physical abuse. They’d gaslight you to accept that you’re the cause of their physical abuse against you.
  1. I have done nothing wrong. The last thing a covert narcissist could do is to plead guilty. They have an inflated sense of self-importance and self-admiration. 
  1. My friends hate you, but I always defend you and have your back. To enslave their victims, covert narcissists seek for subtle means to protect. If truly they have your back, why are they comfortable with friends that hate you?
  1. It is your fault. You would be forced to take responsibilities for everything, both their actions and yours.
  1. You are the only one who doesn’t understand me. Gaslighting is something every covert narcissist enjoys doing. Such phrases are targeted at twisting your psychology and making you lose grip on reality.
  1. You’re imagining things. This is a phrase used by covert narcissists to force their victims into constant retrospection. They’d become very retrospective before making contributions.
  1. I will never lie to you. This is among things narcissists say to earn your trust so you could give them the benefit of doubt always.
  1. You misunderstood me. After getting caught in their own game, cover narcissists resort to this phrase to twist the circumstances.
  1. I didn’t say that. The defense mechanism of a covert narcissist is always top notch. They are always quick to deny anything.
  1. Don’t get upset over nothing. It has been established that covert narcissists can go a long way to trivialize your concerns, emotions and feelings.

21. Don’t be so sensitive. You’d wonder why you were considered sensitive because you noticed their signs and traits. They say this to make you re-evaluate your reasoning.

22. Why can’t we just forget the past. If the past threatens their ego and makes them vulnerable, they make every attempt to relegate them.

23. You don’t understand, I can’t be alone. Covert narcissists can implore every means to keep as long as you’re considered beneficial to them.

24. What you’re saying makes absolutely no sense. They can’t stop gaslighting their victims. Such phrases are used to make you question your values and re-evaluate your grip on reality.

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What Is Overt Narcissism?

Overt narcissism is the direct opposite of covert narcissism. Where covert narcissists are introverted and socially withdrawn, overt narcissists are very extroverted and socially active. They are very bold and attention seeking. Their sense of self-importance, self-admiration, Self-centredness is unparalleled. And they can become very violent if their attachment to superiority is threatened.

Things Covert Narcissists Say

What Are The 4 Types Of Narcissism?

Narcissism can appear in different forms but the traits and signs are almost the same. Experts have identified 5 types of narcissism: Covert narcissism, overt narcissism, antagonistic narcissism, communal narcissism, and malignant narcissism.

What Are The 9 Traits Of A Covert Narcissist?

Grandiosity, exaggerated sense of self-importance, sense of self-admiration, Self-centredness, low capacity for empathy and compassion, very vulnerable to transitions in life, they keep exploitative relationships, difficulty with dependency and attachment, consistent feelings of boredom and emptiness.

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