People that have been cheated on always have an ugly experience to recount. I have been cheated on and I what it feels like. The infidelity pain, the betrayal, and feelings of emptiness reoccurs frequently to remind you of the whole scenario. Looking forward, you can only ponder on how being cheated on changes you.
Unarguably, cheating has a lot of direct effects on the person being cheated on – either short term effects or long term effects. The bottom line is that the thoughts of feeling used and betrayed by someone you loved so much are excruciating and painful.
It can directly influence your general views and beliefs on love, trust and relationship.
With these reoccurring sad thoughts, building up the relationship after being cheated on is almost impossible for people whose boundaries are strict on infidelity.
Unless for couples whose understanding level is commendable, the idea of making amends have chances of becoming a reality.
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Meanwhile, the fate of the relationship should be the least of your concern when you’re cheated on. What subconsciously occupy your mind is how being cheated on changes you. Your partner’s infidelity would certainly have a lot to influence in your life. Here are the 10 major ways how being cheated on changes you.
How Being Cheated On Changes You – 10 Ways
1. Your views and beliefs about love are vigorously shaken
When you’re in a healthy relationship, you believe so much in love and wishes that the whole affair may end in a kind of fairytale. You only fantasize about the promises made to you and thoughts of navigating the love journey in love and in trust.
Suddenly, you get hit by the arrow of infidelity. The partner you cherished all your life has now smashed your heart against the walls of infidelity. This is a very difficult reality to take. No matter how you try to excuse it, your conviction stands high.
This singular experience is capable of changing your beliefs about love. You question every relationship advice and gaze with disdain at anyone that mentions true love around you.
This could be very difficult as it may prevent you from believing in love again when true love comes knocking. This is just one of the brutal ways how being cheated on changes you.
2. You take note of red flags
I’m very sure that your partner displayed signs of cheating but you dismissed them easily because you were in love. The reality of being cheated on is just enough to take your mind through the many times you noticed the red flags.
This would however be very useful in your next relationship if you eventually get over them and move on with your life.
How being cheated on changes you is that it makes you become wary of the red flags you ignored in the past. In your new relationship, you would find it easy to figure out the red flags and take necessary preventive measures.
3. You become wary of a new relationship
How being cheated on changes you? It makes you wary of any relationship in the future. Because you’re scared of trusting another cheat, getting betrayed again or being taken for granted, the mention of relationship scares the hell out of you.
Falling in love again becomes a wishful thinking because you now find it difficult to trust people. No matter the promises and assurances, you still reservations about the person. Keeping a committed relationship becomes very difficult.
4. You rediscover your value and self worth
We’ve seen instances where unfaithful partners come running after their wives because they’ve realized what they’ve lost. Being cheated on, changes your perception about your partner and opens your eyes to the many alternatives out there.
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Some people just realize how uncomfortable their relationship was after being cheated on. Just a step outside the relationship gives them the enough space to acknowledge their value, self worth and potentials. This how being cheated on changes you positively.
5. Your self-esteem is plundered
When you’re cheated on, the first question that consumes your mind is, am I not good enough? This question reeks so much of depleted confidence and plummeted self esteem. You quickly check through to get a glimpse of the girl he cheated you on with.
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The comparison begins. You check the pictures with the question, is she better than me, running through your mind consistently. At the end of the day, you leave with a heavily punctured self esteem.
You detest yourself and excuse his infidelity. This goes a long way in destroying self esteem and creates avenue for the features of low self-esteem – anxiety, depression, social withdrawal and insecurity. Plummeted self esteem is just how being cheated on changes you.
6.You become highly critical of yourself
How being cheated on changes you? It makes you question yourself. You become so critical of yourself when the memories of your inactions play through your mind. You remember things you should have done differently in the relationship.
You regret the many times you insulted them and the pieces of advice you didn’t heed to.
7. Trust issues become a problem
Because of how your partner betrayed your trust and cheated on you with a side chick you thought was a colleague, you become so distrustful of others. Not just in your new relationship, even your family and friends receive a fair share of your cautiousness.
Giving people the benefit of doubt becomes so difficult.
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8. You yearn for revenge
This is a self destructive way of how being cheated on changes you. The desire for revenge and eagerness to get your own pound of flesh influence your uncalculated decisions.
Because you’ve been so faithful to your partner and they still ended up betraying you, you just tour the path of promiscuity to spite them.
9. You feel empty
How being cheated on changes you is that it makes you feel empty. The experience creates a void in your mind. It seems as if something is missing but you can’t figure out exactly what is missing.
There are a lot of them; your love that was abused, your trust they betrayed, among others. It takes a healing process to get rid of this feeling of emptiness and despair.
10. You’re always angry and less friendly
You resent almost everyone, especially those who try to bring in love or relationships in your discussions. You’re easily aggrieved over minor things. You don’t feel happy and you know it.
This is because of many unresolved emotions. It would take a gradual process to get you back to your normal feelings.
Bottom Line
How being cheated on changes you shouldn’t matter much but the healing process. It is unnecessary to cry over the aftermath of being cheated on when you have the task of healing your mind ahead.
There’s nothing relevant enough to disturb your peace of mind. And this is why you have to contact a relationship therapist for counseling instead of allowing yourself to get overwhelmed by your own thoughts.