Why Do I Push Away People Who Love Me

Why Do I Push Away People Who Love Me

You can only imagine the possible reason why you abruptly stopped loving people. You often find it very difficult to go along with people. Sadly, these are often people who had showed signs of affection towards you.

It is not entirely your desire to push them away. But, you can’t contend with the idea of keeping them close to you. No matter how difficult you try, your attitude seeks to keep them at arms length.

This is a psychological and emotional problem. It is often peculiar to people who have suffered heartbreak in the past. They find it very difficult to give trust and love a second chance. With time, the end up with the question; why do I push away people who love me?

You shouldn’t blame yourself for pushing away people who have developed interest in you. It is sometimes an involuntary act, developed after series of heartbreaks and betrayals.

Because you’re a victim of this psychological trauma, it may not be easy for you to uncover the exact reasons why you push away people love you. In this article, we’d help you reveal the reasons. 

5 Reasons why you push away people who love you

• Previous heartbreak

Because your past relationship shattered when you least expected, you unknowingly created a boundary. This is often the experience of many people who have suffered heartbreak in the past. Maybe, you gave it your best shot in the previous relationship.

You made a lot of sacrifices to keep the relationship afloat. You left your interests to fulfill the interest of your partner. You pictured a better future with him. And, you you’ve probably planned your career with him.

Unfortunately, they surprised you by calling it quits. You couldn’t endure the pains and loneliness. After going through such excruciating trauma, you created a wall against love. Whenever someone shows interest in you, you quickly picture your former partner in them. This would immediately activate attitudes that’d push him them away.

• Betrayals

It is never a wish of anyone to suffer betrayal. The experience is often traumatic and leaves a lingering feeling of distrust towards others. More painfully, betrayal comes from people you’d trusted so much.

People you confided in. When betrayal happens, one becomes very much cautious of friends. Instead of leaning closer to people who love you, you quietly lean farther away from them. The falsehood of a foe begins to sound more realistic, than the truths of a friend.

The lingering pains from betrayal, is a reason why you push away people who love you. You mind is probably not ready to suffer another betrayal. Therefore, you become wary of those who love you. 

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• Low Self-esteem

Low self-esteem has been a serious challenge to personal development. It creates imaginary boundary between your thoughts and reality. You find it very difficult to picture yourself in a better reality or situation.

Your choices are severely truncated towards the inferior options. The mind gets wary of beautiful situations like true love. Because of this, you tend to push away people who love you. The mind has made you believe that you deserve the very least.

With low self-esteem, you find it very difficult to believe you deserve love. Instead of reciprocating the love from others, you create boundaries. And retreat very far away from them. 

Low self-esteem impedes personal development and keeps one in isolation. If your self-esteem is very low, you’d hardly believe in love. You have the feeling that you do not deserve something good.

You have to work on your self-esteem. See yourself as the best option, someone who deserves the best. Despite possible limitations like deformity, poverty, e.t.c, you need to attach some value to your personality.

• Over Confidence

Just like low self-esteem, over confidence is also detrimental to self development. It prevents someone to have a grip on reality and make the best choices when necessary. Over confidence is the direct opposite of low self-esteem. Where low self-esteem deflates personal value, over confidence inflates it. 

With over confidence, you won’t know when you’d create your boundaries so high. So high that it’d be difficult to let in some people, especially those who truly love you. You’d begin to attach unrealistic worth to yourself.

The feeling that you deserve someone better begins to becloud you. With time, you drift farther apart from reality. 

Your growing confidence begins to force you to develop trust issues. It becomes more difficult to believe those who profess love to you. 

• Fantasies

Another reason why you push away people who love you is your fantasies. Fantasy and reality are two parallel lines. One is the product of imagination and fairytales while one has a lot to do with our everyday experiences.

Whichever way, the two have a lot to do when it comes to our perception about people. The latter would allow allow you to see things as they are while the former would cast a shadow over your perception.

Obviously, fantasies have forced people to make wrong choices. Trying to replicate their imaginations or some fairytales, people end up settling for the worst.

With a quest to fulfill your fantasies, you might neglect those who truly love you and go after those who have a seeming solution to your fantasies.

Signs Someone Is Pushing You Away

In our quest for love, we’d possibly found ourselves in a situation where we’re despised by those we truly love. Because you’re in love, you’d find it difficult to notice the signs that you’re being pushed away. However, below are few signs you should watch out for when you feel you’re being pushed away by someone.

1. He/she always have excuses to give. Excuses are very close to their lips. They have a reason for turning down a date with you. They have an excuse for not taking your calls. They have an excuse for not being able to reply your texts. They have an excuse for forgetting your anniversaries. When you begin to see them to swim in this river of endless excuses, just rest assured that they are seeking to push you away.
2. They make a lot of demands. In a bid to push you away, they’d inflate their demands. They find it very convenient to make overboard demands.
3. It becomes difficult for them to introduce you to their families and friends. They do everything possible to keep the relationship casual.
4. The person avoids you as much as possible. It would be very difficult for them to keep you around. They seek for every reason to discharge you.

 

READ ALSO: 11 Things That Happen When A Woman Loses Interest In A Man – gistingnow

What To Do When Someone You Love Pushes You Away

It could be excruciatingly painful to notice that someone you genuinely love, is not ready to reciprocate. The heartbreak. The disappointment.

Unavoidable feeling of despair. Coupled with a slight feeling of emptiness are the lingering effects of being pushed away by someone you love. You need to take a couple of proactive actions to get yourself together.

• First, you should have a discussion with their close confidants. These are people who are very close to them and could easily divulge their fears and interests. Explain everything to them and let them know why you should be given a chance.
• Try and understand the major reason why you are being pushed away. And work on them. If they are pushing you away because they have low self-esteem, let them rest assured that you’d not intimidate them.
• Get yourself together and explore. If your attempts hit a wall, you then have to pick yourself up and try some other place.