You’d be startled to see your ex boyfriend’s text pop up after weeks of calling it quits with him. The text is probably all about how much he’d missed you. You would be surprised because of this. Come to think of it, the breakup was over many weeks ago, why is he missing you now?
You’ve taken your time to grief over the heartbreak, thought a lot about the memories and eventually healed from the heartache. He never thought of missing you throughout these moments, it is now you’re moving on with your life. How funny!
Why does it take guys 8 weeks to miss you?
But, that is truly the nature of men. The impact of breakup is not readily felt by men as it is immediately felt by women. After a breakup, women can spend a couple of days in doors grieving over the heartbreak while men could be seen having wonderful moments with friends.
At this juncture, you might think the guy was never into you. But that’s not true. He was really into you, just that he’s trying to deflate the pains of the breakup which would eventually engulf him some weeks later. For clarity, here’s a few reasons that answer the question; why does it take guys 8 weeks to miss you?
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Why Does It Take Guys 8 Weeks To Miss You? 11 Reasons
1. Men are egoistic in nature
Men would always want to be men. You don’t expect him to start grieving over the breakup when he has his ego to preserve and his pride to protect.
Guys think it is a sign of weakness to get emotional after a breakup. Such actions are believed to undermine their ego and make them less of a man. Pride is a natural coping mechanism and guys utilize it very well to submerge their emotions.
Few days after the breakup, the guy would be very much active on social media, updating his status. He’d be almost everywhere without showing any sign of remorse. This happens just a few days and it would take a few more days before he starts getting hold of the reality.
2. Men are not as emotional as women
Women are very emotional and pretty in touch with their feelings. Unlike women, men are often ahead of their emotions and their feelings are forced to be inconsequential.
Certainly, the feelings would come surging intensely, trying to break his coping mechanisms. At this stage, he struggles real hard to keep his feelings in check by taking refuge under the notion that men are meant to be masculine and tough.
Why does it take guys 8 weeks to miss you? Women do not have such emotional barriers and are easily advantaged by their feelings.
3. Men encourage themselves to move on
As the post-breakup feelings and loneliness continue to trip in, there would be difficulties for them to deflate everything with their coping mechanisms. The reality is just becoming irrepressible.
Guys would have to encourage themselves to move on. They create the belief that it would take a few moments and everything would vanish or they would get over it with time.
Such emotional self-awareness would prevent them from acknowledging the pain they are really going through.
4. He tries to protect himself
As the feelings persist, men would resort to illusions to keep themselves protected. They are fighting very strongly with their emotions to neglect the painful feelings after a breakup.
To protect themselves, they try talking to other girls, trying to replace the ex with some momentary attention and intimacy.
5. He holds onto his initial positive emotions
Why does it take guys 8 weeks to miss you? After some days and failed attempts to deflate the painful feelings, guys try to hold onto the initial feeling after breakup.
They run back to this feeling to remind themselves that the relationship has already ended, there’s nothing to mourn over. They just have to move on.
This positive feeling holds onto for as long as it can carry their emotions.
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6. The positive feelings eventually becomes weary and the painful feelings resurface
This positive feeling won’t last long before he starts thinking about the past memories.
Why does it take guys 8 weeks to miss you? He begins to remember the intimate moments you two shared together, the beautiful restaurants you two visited, the anniversaries celebrated together, your jokes and quirks, among other memorable moments.
These memories would consume his positive feelings and return him back to thinking about you and the relationship.
7. He enters the denial stage
As these memories continue to flicker in, he finds it more difficult to stop overthinking.
To run away from these memories, he slips into the denial stage. He’ll try to convince himself that everything that happened; the breakup and the painful feelings are just part of the relationship. They are meant to happen.
8. The reality persists
Around the 5th week, it is already becoming clearer to him that you’re now his ex. The loneliness and the burden of being single, reminds him so much about you.
At this moment, he begins to make attempts to reach you. He tries to reach mutual friends, view your social media statuses or even like your pictures.
He makes subtle attempts to get your attention and possibly see if you could remember the old moments and come back to the relationship. When this manipulative strategy hits the wall, the guy becomes quite desperate.
9. His desperation changes into anger, frustration or even depression
This is when you see guys hitting the bar and engage in frequent drinking. Aside from drinking, he tries other self-destructive habits like smoking, quitting his job, or womanizing.
There’s this frustration and feeling of anger within him. The painful feelings are now very obvious and very irrepressible.
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10. He picks up himself and tries the dating pool once again
Why does it take guys 8 weeks to miss you?
Some friends might actually come through for him and possibly pull him out of the desperation and self-destructive habits, by reminding him of better options in the dating pool.
This gives him a flicker of hope and he begins the search to replace you. Eventually, he ended his search in futility, acknowledging that you’re indeed irreplaceable.
11. The final decision
Why does it take guys 8 weeks to miss you?
Probably already at the 8th week and it’s time to acknowledge his feelings and officially reach out to you. There’s no going back. He has to take the bold step and let you know how much he misses you, who knows, there might be a second chance for him.
Bottom Line
Our answer to why does it take guys 8 weeks to miss you, does not apply to every guy. If he is emotionally fragile, it might take just a few days before he runs back to your arms.
However, instead of waiting for 8 weeks to acknowledge the painful feeling after a breakup, it is advisable to contact a therapist who could effectively guide you through the healing process.