Relationships are not always as rosy and adventurous as they could be in the beginning..it often starts like a fairytale and you could feel butterflies in your tummy, just as if you’re about to live your best life ever. The incessant bliss and spicy promises keep you glued to the affair.
However, if relationships do continue as blissfully as it started, we wouldn’t be having these huge divorce rates and frequent breakups. The truth is that, relationship is not a bed of roses and it requires a lot of love, tolerance and mutual respect to keep the ship afloat.
If the commitment is not there, the affair that started with the best of promises gradually turns toxic. As time passes by, the love and attention are replaced by hate and resentment. You face abuse in severe circumstances, either emotional or physical.
With time, you become tired, sad and wary of the person who promised to love you to the moon. Then you ask yourself “why does my boyfriend hate me?”
Read also: Why Do Guys Give The Silent Treatment After A Fight
Asking “why does my boyfriend hate me” may be quick for those who were able to figure out handwriting on the wall. But if you’re not informed, it may take you a long time to ask this question and the relationship might have already gone toxic and abusive.
To help you know if your boyfriend hates you or not, here are a few signs to watch out for.
How do you know if a man hates you? – Signs your boyfriend hates you
1. He is more concerned about your weaknesses than your strengths
A relationship is meant to be a place where you should get some emotional support and encouragement, not a place where you’re intimidated. If your boyfriend loves you, he’d always extol your exploits and strengths.
But when he begins to point out your flaws and weaknesses consistently without recognizing your efforts, just know he’s already tired of you. No genuine boyfriend enjoys talking about the weaknesses of a girlfriend.
2. He apportions every blame to you
As people in a relationship, it is necessary that you should take responsibility for your actions and inactions. However, being blamed for someone’s obvious mistakes shouldn’t be tolerated. It is emotionally draining and most boyfriends use it as a tool to emotionally abuse their girlfriends.
When your boyfriend begins to blame you for almost everything – a bad day, a failed appointment, family issues, e.t.c – that you know nothing about, you might have to ask “why does my boyfriend hate me?”
3. He is becoming violent and abusive
Emotional abuse or physical abuse should be the last thing you can tolerate from your boyfriend. When he tries such brutality, quickly dump him and move on. You deserve better than that.
No responsible boyfriend would have the courage to abuse – emotionally or physically – someone they claim to love. The abuse may also come in the form of gaslighting, stonewalling, silent treatment or emotional manipulations.
Going violent or abusive is a clear sign he’s already tired of you and is seeking for ways to end things with you. You don’t have to wait till it gets to this extent, watch out for other signs and make your decision.
Read also: Emotional Immaturity: Signs, Causes And Possible Remedies
4. He’s always threatening to leave you
A relationship is not a bed of roses, we already know. There are bound to be fights or arguments, which could be settled amicably with love and understanding. Using the opportunity to remind you that he’s going to dump you is a red flag.
He didn’t say it because of the fight, he had already thought it through and made up his decision. Besides, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. You’re supposed to feel secure and protected in your relationship and not be threatened with a breakup.
You may ask: “why does my boyfriend hate me?” Because it is already very obvious that he does.
5. He cheats on you
Keeping emotional or physical affairs is a sign you also watch out for. If he’s really into you, his emotional and physical intimacy should be from you and one stranger out there. Cheating on you is enough sign he’s not really into you anymore.
6. He hardly spend time with you
The best form of care you can get from your boyfriend is his undivided attention. Being around you is enough on its own and in a healthy relationship, you’re also a friend to your boyfriend. He should enjoy spending quality time with you. You should do a lot of things together and have fun together.
However, if he’s always away from you and enjoys spending time with friends and colleagues instead of you, then you may have to start asking questions – why does my boyfriend hate me?
7. He doesn’t discuss the future with you
In a healthy and committed relationship, there should be discussions about the future. You’re supposed to be making plans about the next vacation or what it feels to have children. If he’s not having such discussions about the future with you, then you may not be wrong to ask: “why does my boyfriend hate me?”
Read Also: How To Stay Calm When Arguing With My Boyfriend: 7 Strategies
Why does my boyfriend hate me? Here are the possible reasons
1. He feels you’re not serious with him
Your boyfriend can’t just wake up in the middle of the night and hate you. There are reasons why he’s getting tired of you. Maybe you’re not serious with him.
It could be quite painful and hurtful to discover that someone you’re already head over heels for, is just playing games with you.
Maybe you comfortably flirt with other guys in his presence, talk very often about your ex, or you try to get him jealous. These are some signs you’re not serious with him. Noticing these would not sit well with him and he may get tired of the relationship.
2. He’s dealing with a lot of issues
Another answer to your question: why does my boyfriend hate me? Is the tendency that he is currently passing through a lot and transferring the aggression to you.
Maybe he’s having a heavy week at work or some family issues are on his neck. If you notice this could be the reason why is so uptight with you recently, you can approach him and talk about it with him. He would understand you and appreciate your concern.
Read also: Why Do People Cheat On People They Love? Major Reasons
3. Maybe you don’t make him your priority
In a relationship, our feelings and emotions are supposed to be acknowledged and reciprocated. It is not healthy to make genuine efforts to make a relationship work while your partner feels uninterested.
He may hate you because you prioritize other things over him. Your work, friends and family take a huge chunk of your time and rarely have enough time to look over your partner. That’s not fair. You have to strike a balance between your relationship and your work. The two are essential and none should be neglected.
4. He feels smothered by the relationship
How often do you allow him to do his thing? How much do you respect his decisions? Do you always interfere in his privacy? Men are naturally dominant and always want some freedom.
Maybe you’re the clingy or domineering type and you’re not allowing him to do some things, as he deems fit, and in his own way. Such actions would make him resent you. You have to loosen up a bit and allow him some freedom.
Bottom Line
If you’re asking: why does my boyfriend hate me? It means you have already seen a lot of signs that he’s no longer into you. You can give him the benefit of doubt and have a heart-to-heart and insightful discussion with him.
If it is possible to keep the ship afloat, you can give it another try. But if he’s not yet ready to show signs of remorse and regret, you have to consider taking your leave. There are better options out there. In all, your peace of mind should be your priority.