Have you ever been in a situation where you feel your partner’s reactions and outbursts are often detrimental to the success of your relationship? Do you find it difficult having a long and critical conversation with your partner?
Do you feel attacked when trying to correct your partner? How often does your partner shy away from discussions concerning the future of your relationship?
If you answer in the affirmative to the above questions, it is very clear you’re dealing with someone who is battling emotional immaturity. Being emotionally immature is a serious challenge to the personal development of someone and to a great extent limits their personal relationships.
It is very difficult to keep a healthy and progressive relationship with partners that are emotionally immature. They find it very difficult to see things from an adult stance.
And most times, they’re very difficult to be figured out. This trait is very similar to Narcissism; just that there is a huge difference in abusive levels.
For your relationship to work, you have to identify if your partner is emotionally immature, and come up with possible ways to help them attain maturity emotionally.
What does it mean to be emotionally immature?
To be emotionally immature means as an adult, one still finds it difficult to control their emotions in a way that resonates with their age. Succinctly, emotional immaturity is all about being an adult while acting like a child.
An emotionally mature adult can comfortably control their emotions, take responsibility for their actions, and have the tendency to cope with challenging situations.
Contrarily, emotional immaturity entails lack of proper control over emotions, inability to take responsibility and indecision in the face of difficult situations.
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What are the causes of emotional immaturity?
According to research, emotional immaturity is a behavioral pattern, acquired during the developmental stages of one. It is a form of character learned or acquired as a result of circumstances one was exposed to.
However, according to research, there are two major causes of emotional immaturity.
1. Poor upbringing
The type of parenting we received during childhood affects our maturity level. People who were raised by competent parents, with so much love and care, tend to have a high level of maturity.
They have a natural tendency to see things objectively and are very much accommodating of others.
Most people with emotional immaturity had suffered the brunt of bad parenting during their childhood days. Their upbringing was devoid of genuine love and attention. They were possibly left at their early stages, to start making their own decisions.
More so, the predominant trait of a parent could also reflect fully in the attitudes of the child. Someone who was raised by a narcissistic parent(s) would find it difficult to avoid being a narcissist. The qualities of narcissism may be acquired.
2. Traumatic experiences
People who have experienced trauma in the past have challenges controlling their emotions. To a great extent, their traumatic experiences affect their general perception of issues and judgment.
In relationships, they are always on the defensive and are very slow to show signs of commitment. Being emotionally immature is a better option for them; to prevent going through another round of a traumatizing experience.
Their impulses are very high and they find it difficult to convey their feelings. However, such causes of emotional immaturity are very identified and could easily be corrected by deep conversation and self-care.
What are the signs of emotional immaturity?
Are you finding it difficult to figure out if your partner is emotionally immature or not? We have identified proven signs that your partner is battling emotional immaturity.
1. Very slow to commitment
Emotional immature people have issues with commitment. In relationships, they shy away from critical discussions that concern the future and growth of the relationship.
Instead of engaging constructively, they’d bring up unrelated issues to create an escape route for themselves.
They are very much unaware of what they really want from you; but they can’t let go. They are simply afraid and skeptical about making any commitment. They have the perception that they do not have what it takes to commit to a long-term relationship.
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2. Poor communication
The backbone of every relationship or friendship is healthy and active communication. If the communication channel is frail; the relationship or friendship would hit a wall sooner than later. It is very necessary to watch out for the communication qualities of your partner.
If they are very poor at keeping a healthy communication, just know they are battling emotional immaturity. In most intimate relationships, emotionally immature people find it difficult to communicate their love for their partners.
They are always expecting you to consistently and effectively profess your love for them as much as possible; but, they can’t replicate such gestures. They’d conceal their intentions and watch you get lonely in the relationship.
3. They struggle to talk about their feelings
If your partner always yearns to hear about your feelings without divulging there’s; it is a big sign that they are emotionally immature.
Emotional immaturity doesn’t give the avenue or courage for people to conveniently express their feelings. They think such expressions could be used against them or it would make them appear cheap before their partner.
4. They’d make you feel alone in the relationship
They make little or no effort to ensure the progress of the relationship. You’re inevitably left with every task that may spice up the relationship. It doesn’t end there, you’d also have to deal with their issues and you may eventually get lonely in the relationship.
Aside from making efforts to make things work, you’d find yourself tolerating their mood swings, emotional detachment, nagging, gaslighting and manipulation.
You’d get lonely while trying to please them.
5. They easily go defensive
Instead of taking responsibility for their poor decisions or inactions; they’d try every means to justify their shortcomings or improper actions.
Understanding when you’re at fault and issuing a sincere apology is very important for the success of any relationship. But, such qualities are alien to people with emotional immaturity. They feel threatened when asked to issue an apology.
Instead, they can go any length to justify their actions even if it means gaslighting you.
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Is emotional immaturity a mental illness?
No. Research has not proven that emotional immaturity is a type of mental illness. It has been identified as a personality trait that conflicts the age of an individual with his actions.
It is just a difficulty in controlling emotions and accepting responsibility for actions. It could be likened to narcissism.