Ever thought of the possibility of settling down with the wrong person? Someone who’s ways are totally different from yours? A person you have a hard time trying to figure out their obvious thoughts? Different careers and interests? Someone whose worldviews are parallel to your beliefs and values?
This is the nightmare of many intending couples – settling down with the wrong person. Though there’s no perfect person on earth and we are yet to witness a perfect marriage, but there should be some compatibility.
We don’t grow to love but we grow in love. The shortcomings of your partner might be tolerated and corrected – making him the right person, but what about a situation where there’s no avenue for tolerance and correction?
This is exactly why it is very necessary to avoid marrying the wrong person. Conventionally, no one is ready for a divorce or separation. We all crave for something close to perfect marriage.
It is therefore very necessary to start adjusting yourself towards avoiding marrying the wrong person. For assistance, we have outlined the major possible reasons why you will marry the wrong person.
Why You Will Marry The Wrong Person
1. You Live A Fake Life
A lot of people have thrown away their true personality and embraced the personality that is seemingly acceptable to the society.
You now live to impress. Allowing the thought of other people to dictate your character. This may be very interesting and adventurous in the beginning, but always calamitous when marriage is presented.
With your fake lifestyle, you live in self deceit. Instead of getting attracted to your real person, people get attracted to your fake personality. Because your fake lifestyle condones their own personality, you casually consent to their proposal. In the long run, you will find it very difficult to satisfy the cravings of your true person.
On the other hand, your partner would not comfortably accept your frequent shift to your real personality. This would certainly mark the beginning of an uncomfortable union. To avoid this, you need to be your real person always and allow people get attracted to this original personality.
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2. Low Self-esteem
Lack of confidence in oneself has done more harm than good. Because of low self-esteem, we tend to reduce our standards and frequently adjust our tastes. This is very harmful. It is a form of psychological challenge where our true interests are submerged underneath our fears.
You need to break off the shackles of low self-esteem before consenting to any marriage proposal. Think highly of yourself and consistently project your interests and tastes.
With this, you wouldn’t just accept anything that comes your way. Because, low self-esteem would force you to settle for the less. You won’t see yourself as valuable enough to make choices.
3. Going To The Wrong Places
You can’t meet the right person at the wrong place. If you wish not to marry a gambler, you should not have any business associating with gamblers.
Get your priorities right and figure out as soon as possible the type of person you’d like to settle down with. This would enable you to narrow down your search and minimise the tendencies of setting down with the wrong person.
4. Wrong Relationships
If you’re often having a wrong relationship, you’d possibly settle down with the wrong person. To a great extent, relationship is a direct preparation for marriage. What you often settle for during relationships, might be what you settle down.
If you don’t wish to marry a smoker, you have no business building an intimate relationship with a smoker. You have no business marrying a gambler, you shouldn’t have any business being in a relationship with a gambler.
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5. Putting Ahead The Interests Of Families And Friends
We all have the natural intention to please our families and keep our friends happy. However, this should be done with a great recourse to our own interests and ambitions.
If you always consider the interests and thoughts of families and friends, they’d influence your decisions. You might end up settling down with someone because your family and friends approved of them. Though, you might be lucky enough, but in most cases this is another way to settle down with the wrong person.
You need to project your interests and tastes ahead of any other thing. Families and friends would certainly come with their persuasive ideas. Do not discard them. Receive all the pieces of advice they’d offer. But maintain your interests.
6. You Substitute Reality With Fantasy
If you are so much intrigued by fantasies, you could possibly and unavoidably lose a firm grip on reality. When our thoughts and ambitions are mere fantasies, we would have a hard time coming to terms with the harshness of reality.
For starters, there’s no perfect marriage. Before you get misled by the movies you see and novels you read. These are often wild imaginations which rarely come to fruition. You need to let go of these imaginations and be more practical while figuring out who to settle down with.
With these, you’d be able to start building your tolerance level and reduce your expectations of others.
7. Unable To Ask The Right Questions
Because we are immersed in the thought of our newfound lover, we tend to deviate from the important and necessary questions. Maybe, we’re afraid to get an answer that’d crash our newly found love.
However, to avoid marrying the wrong person, you need to make sure that the necessary questions are asked. Do not be overshadowed by the seemingly perfect intimacy.
Questions like: what is your genotype? Tell me more about your career? How do you behave when you’re angry? Do you subscribe to the school of thought that condones the silent treatment? Such questions and more would avail you the opportunity to have a better grasp of whom you’re dealing with.
Take away
We have taken time to analyze these reasons that may make one settle down with the wrong person. This piece is also a necessary material for other questions like; how to avoid marrying the wrong person? Why did we chose the wrong partners?
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