Are you concerned about this query because you rarely see alcohol addicts in love? If that’s not your concern, you’re probably wondering how it feels like being in a relationship with an alcohol addict. Maybe, you’ve been in a relationship with an alcohol addict and they left you with the most horrible experience since you joined the dating pool.
Whatever your reason might be, the bottom line is that alcohol addicts do not love. The love they display to their partners is rooted in selfishness and personal gain. Why an alcoholic cannot love is basically because of traits of narcissism in them.
Everything has to go their way but they’re so reluctant to make the needed sacrifices.
Alcoholism, as caused by addiction to alcohol, has a lot of effects on someone’s social functioning. Alcoholics are rarely on the same page with others when over issues bordering on emotions and feelings. If your discussions won’t produce a bottle of beer for them, they’re unlikely to take you seriously.
I have seen alcohol addicts who claim to be in love and how emotionally drained their partners are left. In their subconsciousness, they feel they are in love with their partners but in reality, all they bring to the relationship is toxicity and liabilities.
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Such an affair is not healthy enough to be referred to as a love affair. This brings more attention to the question why an alcoholic cannot love.
9 Reasons Why An Alcoholic Cannot Love
1. High tendency of verbal and physical abuse
Generally, addiction is very bad and should be prevented through any way possible. There should be enough awareness to enlighten people on the dangers of addiction, especially addiction to alcohol. This addiction affects their relationship with other people, especially their intimate partners.
Why an alcoholic cannot love is basically because of their overeating tendencies. Situations around them are highly influenced by alcohol. Their decisions stem from alcohol. Unless you’re lucky enough to meet them when they’re yet to take some.
With their addiction, they are highly unstable. When arguments do not go their way, they can quickly resort to physical or verbal abuse. If you try to interfere with their drinking habits, you’d be lucky to get away without bruises. Relationships with such addicts are very toxic.
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2. Very difficult to express care
There is no love without care. For every relationship to be stable, the partners must be caring towards each other. The attention and regular show of affection are necessary ingredients needed to spice things up.
I doubt one can get such love, attention and care from an alcohol addict. Because of emotional instability, alcohol addicts are less caring but demand a lot of care. They have their attention fixated on alcohol and have just very little to spare their partners. Why an alcoholic cannot love is rooted in their inability to show care and affection to their partners.
However, if you’re in love with an alcoholic, the best thing to do is to help them come over the addiction. It is a gradual process that would take time and a lot of counseling.
3. Alcohol addicts lack respect and support
You’re not talking about intimate relationships if you have not mentioned respect and support. They are the fulcrum for healthy relationships. You can only imagine how difficult it could be to stay in a relationship where you’re neither respected nor supported.
An alcoholic cannot love because alcohol addicts lack respect for their partners. The few exceptions also have moments when they disrespect their partners.
4. Codependency issues
Have you ever spent some months with an alcoholic before? If you haven’t, then I have some information for you. These people rely so heavily on alcohol for anything. Practically everything they do is facilitated by alcohol. Yes, it is that deep.
As you draw motivation from your role model or a good music, their motivation comes from alcohol. In the morning, before they start the day’s activities, they must gulp down some bottles of beer.
Before any sensible discussion, they’ll need some beer to get charged. It could be very difficult managing such codependency and that’s why an alcoholic cannot love.
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5. Alcohol addicts are unhappy people
Addiction to alcohol is not natural. It is mostly used as a strategy to evade pain and anxiety. It is a self-medication strategy to reduce the stress of managing pain. Alcohol serves as a depressant and alters behavior and mood.
Most alcohol addicts are unhappy people who do not have the emotional strength to face their problems head on. Out of their subconsciousness, alcoholics are often depressed and moody. This is another reason why an alcoholic cannot love.
6. An alcoholic have high tendencies of stealing from their partners
Irrespective of how much you love and sacrifice for them, an alcohol addict would certainly steal from you to fuel their drinking habit. They lie a lot to deceive or manipulate you. Because of these habits, staying in love with an alcoholic is a very difficult task.
7. They have trust issues
If you wonder why an alcoholic cannot love, then you have to look at their trust level. They are very distrustful of others and can hardly believe in anything you say unless you fund their drinking at that moment. No matter the sacrifices you make, an alcohol addict would have difficulties trusting you.
8. You would not be comfortable inviting people to your home
Staying with an alcohol addict can be very difficult. You can’t comfortably invite people to your home because you’re unsure of how your alcoholic partners may react. Even going out with them is another heavy task. You can hardly predict them especially when alcohol is involved.
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9. You cannot depend on alcoholic
Why an alcoholic cannot love is because they’re not dependable when critical issues are involved. There are things you may need to discuss or there are important place you may need to go, but unfortunately an alcoholic partner can never offer a support.
Bottom Line
Alcohol abuse has a lot of consequences which includes turning one into an addict. As a depressant, it assists in relieving stress and anxiety but it has a lot of effects on one’s interpersonal skills. Keeping a relationship with an alcoholic is very difficult because of their unhealthy drinking..
The best you have to do for them is to assist them in getting over the unhealthy habit and help them rediscover their potential. Staying in love with them is very difficult because there are a lot of reasons why an alcoholic cannot love and your peace of mind may be compromised.