Be Careful Who You Trust: 10 Important Things To Know Before Trusting People

Trust is an essential asset needed to build a committed and healthy personal or professional relationship. It forms the basis of business deals and the bedrock of intimate relationships. Indeed, trust is invaluable when people are coming together for any purpose.

In intimate relationships, if trust is found wanting, there is difficulty in tagging along. A lot of thoughts not only limited to infidelity would be entertained and checked closely.

On the contrary, when the partners are trustworthy and have equal trust in each other, it doesn’t take much for them to build a healthy relationship because there’s already a strong communication in place.

The absence of trust paves room for arguments, fights, misunderstanding, stalking, frustrations and an untold series of emotional stress. It is however very necessary to be careful who you trust to avoid the pains of betrayal. 

Human beings are dynamic and can change with prevailing circumstances. This is exactly why some people are quite distrustful of others irrespective of the closeness and level of friendship. To enable you to understand the dynamics behind trust and people, we’ve come up with 10 things you should know about trust.

Be careful who you trust

Be careful who you trust: 10 important things you should know about trust

1. Those that talk to you about someone, will talk to others about you

This is a simple notion that has been proven to be true on numerous occasions. You shouldn’t relax with someone because they’re castigating other people before you. Telling you the secrets of others, doesn’t mean they’re confiding in you and as a result, you should trust them. 

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That’s not true. The fact that they tell you things about others is enough reason you should keep your secrets to yourself when they’re around. It is in their nature to discuss people and no level of closeness would change that habit.

It is even safe not to entertain their stories about other people because your contributions to the story would be taken also to the person they discussed with you. You just have to be careful who you trust.

2. Don’t ignore your instincts or guy thinking

Your inner voice always predicts accurately because it is in sync with your mind and thought process. When your gut thinking kicks against a particular person, it would be your greatest undoing to disregard that inner voice. 

You don’t necessarily have to confront them based on what your instinct told you, rather you should be skeptical about them and be mindful of whatever you discuss with them, especially your deepest and darkest secrets.

3. Disregard the fallacy of “innocence until proven otherwise”

This assumption has led people to horrible mistakes. You don’t have to wait until proven otherwise before you start being careful around a particular person. If there’s a public opinion or stories that connotes the instability of someone, you shouldn’t wait to have your own experience before taking the lessons.

When people tell you that someone is talking behind you, take note of what they’re saying and arm yourself with the information. You don’t have to confront them for talking behind your back because you’re not certain if they really did. Instead, reduce the amount and quality of information you divulge when they’re with you.

4. Your secrets are your secrets

Be careful who you trust, salt and sugar look alike. So, how are you sure the person you’re confiding in won’t betray you? Remember, it is still a secret because only you know about it. It would no longer be a secret if there’s another person with the information.

That you can keep the secrets of others is not a guarantee that other people would keep your own secrets. People have different values according to their views. Therefore, if you want your secrets to be safe, don’t trust anyone with your secrets.

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5. Once a cheat, always a cheat

This popular saying about cheats is, to a great extent, true. Anyone that has cheated on you before, would likely repeat it again. You have to take this into consideration before you start giving someone a second chance.

If they have betrayed you in the past, they would betray you again if you give them the chance. “Fool me once, joke on you; fool me twice, joke on me.”

6. If they aren’t telling you their’s, why tell them yours?

Some people are naturally secretive about themselves but are naturally curious to hear about others. If you meet this kind of person, you have to learn how to shut up like them. If they’re not comfortable telling you things about themselves, you also have to be uncomfortable telling them things about yourself. Just be careful who you trust.

7. Select the things you tell people

Be careful who you trust because trust is mostly circumstantial. People proclaim marriage vows with all sincerity in the beginning and still end up with a divorce. Circumstances changed.

When circumstances change, there might be new reasons why people shouldn’t owe you their loyalty or trust. At this moment, they can sing your secrets to all and sundry.

So, when you’re really close to someone, you can tell them your secrets, those ones that won’t come around to haunt you. But, the deepest and darkest secrets should be buried in your mind. Same thing applies to people in courtship. There are things you don’t have to tell your partner because irrespective of the love you share, such secrets about you would put them in a difficult position. 

Hide them within you, provided there are zero chances of such secrets appearing in the future or affecting your partner’s welfare and that of the relationship. You must be careful who you trust.

8. Don’t think they won’t betray you because you can’t betray them

This is where many people get it wrong. They think because their moral values don’t permit them to betray other people implies others won’t betray them. Man is dynamic in nature. We have different values and ethics based on our upbringing and exposure.

Everyone lives according to the moral values they identify with. Anything you assume about them is at your own risk. 

Read Also: Expect Disappointment And You’ll Never Be Disappointed

9. Your “I do” does not mean they do

Marriage vows are necessary and a proof of commitment. However, you are different from whomever you’re exchanging marital vows with. What you’re thinking about marriage and the future might be entirely different from how they’re seeing things. This is another reason why you should be careful who you trust.

10. Avoid drama Queen and drama King

In this era of social media frenzy and overt clout chasing, you need to be extremely careful of what you tell people. Some drama Queens are only interested in the contents and the attention, if your secret would give them that, they wouldn’t think twice.

Important quotes on why you should be careful who you trust

  1. “Trust, but verify.” – Ronald Reagan.
  1. “A healthy relationship is built on unwavering trust.” – Arthur Ashe.
  1. “When the trust account is high, communication is easy, instant, and effective.” – Stephen R. Covey.
  1. “If people like you, they’ll listen to you, but if they trust you, they’ll do business with you.” – Zig Ziglar.
  1. “Trust becomes solidified when words are consistently backed up by deeds.” – George David Miller.
  1. “Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.” – Albert Einstein.
  1. “Never trust anyone who wants what you’ve got. Friend or no, envy is an overwhelming emotion.” – Eubie Blake.
  1. “Self-trust is the first secret of success.” – Ralph Waldo Lauren.
  1. “As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.” – Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe.
  1. “Not everyone can be trusted. I think we all have to be very selective about the people we trust.” – Shelley Long.

Bottom Line

No relationship either personal or professional can thrive without trust. It is an essential asset for any successful relationship.

This importance of trust has further made it more important for you to be careful who you trust. Because when trust fails, the pain of betrayal, arguments, misunderstandings, and emotional stress would be unprecedented.

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