Love is a beautiful and magical feeling which everyone craves for. It is special that it elevates the self-esteem of everyone involved, through its caring and compassionate nature.
Almost everyone desires and wishes for that special moment in their lives when they would be unconditionally loved and cherished by others. This feeling of smitten with someone is almost inexplicable as many attempts have been made to understand the dynamics of true love.
Poets, actors, musicians and writers have made significant trials in expressing their perception about love. Yet, it can’t be completely understood until you’re involved.
This is why many have questioned the reason behind some elating love stories, the reason for the sacrifices made eludes them. It is very difficult to comprehend the selfless sacrifices, the overwhelming care, the ceaseless flow of attention, the comforting sense of tolerance and the genuine mutual respect.
Despite these exhilarating benefits of true love, a lot of people have intentionally and unintentionally missed out. Being single is not an easy experience, because there are cravings that can only be solved by love. Many have made genuine attempts to fall in love but they still fall back to this touching question: ‘why can’t I find love.’
Why Can’t I Find Love? Here Are 5 Reasons
1. You’re Meeting With The Wrong People
For you to fall in love, you need to meet someone whose thoughts, beliefs, interests, and morals resonate with yours. There would be clashes of interests and views if you go for people who are emotionally unavailable to you. To fall in love, there’s a need to meet the right people who you can easily love without reservation.
If you want to fall in love, there’s a need to identify the qualities you wish to see in your partner. Do not just search blindly because you’d choose blindly. Don’t rush to start something when you have not figured out if you’re compatible with the person. Though we already know love could be built, it should be built upon something.
For one to be genuinely in love, one needs to genuinely love their significant other. Staying with a wrong person could mar these chances and its severity, forcing you to love out of pity or compromise. Be clear with your specifications, qualities, and interests and start aligning yourself with such people.
READ ALSO: 11 Qualities Of A Boyfriend Material
2. You’re Afraid Of Rejection And Being Hurt
You may not find love easily if the circumstances of your past heartbreak and rejections are vividly playing in your mind. Such thoughts re-emerge continuously to remind you of possible dangers if you should follow the path of love once again.
The previous trauma and the psychological effects of previous rejections and heartbreak, would continue to interfere with your quest to find love.
You have to live above your past experiences and begin to navigate another path towards love. Break away from the excruciating thoughts of your previous heartbreak. Start seeing love as a beautiful thing once again and prepare your minds psychologically to explore it.
You don’t need to be afraid of falling in love once again because you’re afraid of getting hurt. You have nothing to lose, you only have something to gain. You won’t have a chance at success if you don’t risk trying.
3. You Think You Don’t Deserve It
Low self-esteem and overconfidence are stumbling blocks to finding love. You’re held down from going for what you love, because you think you’re undeserving of such.
Low self-esteem would force you to think lowly of yourself and make you appear inferior to others. You’d get scared of trying because you think you’re not their match.
Same scenario is obtainable with people of over confidence. Just like low self-esteem, over confidence creates a boundary between you and reality. You subconsciously raise the bar so high that it won’t accommodate your genuine lovers. Such perceptions would undermine your efforts in finding love.
You have to grow up and love yourself first. Make sure you’re deeply in love with yourself by taking proper care of yourself. Your self-esteem would be boosted and your over confidence would be gauged. You can start exploring the possibilities of finding through love, without writing off anyone.
4. You’re Settling
If you check very well, you’d discover that some people are in a relationship without being in love. A situation where you wish to love someone but you can’t. This comes up when you settle for what you see instead of what you desire.
Do not compromise your standards and specifications. You have to remain resolute about these for you to end up with whom you desire.
5. You’re Not Ready To Leave Your Comfort Zone And Explore
Don’t live on the fantasies that preach that love could come to you. Those movies where people mysteriously met with their significant other should not be juxtaposed with reality. You have to leave your comfort zone to double your odds of finding love. Seclusion would terribly tweak your odds and present you with a very short list.
Make your list of options as long as possible, by putting yourself out there. Dating has greatly evolved and people are meeting love at the least expected places and circumstances. Start networking seriously. Get yourself involved in WhatsApp groups, dating sites, Facebook groups, among others.
Take your quest for love offline also. Don’t just depend on what online opportunities could offer you. Be pragmatic. Attend social gatherings, vacations and do make room for pastimes. You’d be amazed by the options that would be at your disposal and you may not come around again to ask: ‘why can’t I find love?’
Are People Incapable Of Finding Love?
No. No one is incapable of finding love. Love is a beautiful and magical feeling that comes in the least expected ways. These feelings are not limited to particular persons, it is universal. Everyone could feel love and fall in love. Unless one chooses to remain defiant. Love is accessible to everyone irrespective of status, class and beliefs.
READ ALSO: 7 Reasons Why You Will Marry The Wrong Person
Why Are People Single?
It is largely because of individual reasons. Many people have their reasons why they chose to remain single. It could be because of a previous heartbreak or an overwhelming career. Despite the circumstance, it traces back to personal reasons.
But in some cases, some people are still single because they couldn’t find love. Maybe, because of their approaches and standards. In this case, one needs to check our reply to the question: ‘why can’t I find love?’
Is Being Single At 35 Normal?
Yes. There’s nothing wrong about being single at 35. It is very normal to be single at 35. Everyone has their priorities and preferences. Being in love is not the ultimate goal of everyone. Some have left it till when they are emotionally, financially and psychologically ready for it. There’s nothing not normal about being single at 35.
Does Everyone Find Love Eventually?
No. Life is treacherous and largely unfair. Despite their honest efforts, some people do not get to have the exceptional and magical feeling of being in love. This should not be juxtaposed with being in a relationship.
One can be in a relationship without being in love. Generally, the feeling of being loved unconditionally by a stranger is heavenly and not everyone could be lucky enough to have it.