Side chick is an African-American vernacular slang that means mistress. A side chick is a lady who dates someone else’s husband or girlfriend often in secrecy. There are obvious signs that she is the side chick but women usually push aside these signs because of the fake promises and assurances from the guy.
What makes a girl a side chick?
Most side chicks don’t really know they’re second options. They just start the relationship as usual without knowing that the guy is already keeping a committed relationship or marriage somewhere with another lady.
Even if every other person around the side chick should be aware of what is going on, the side chick rarely has any idea that she’s being used.
Most times when the guy’s relationship or marriage hits the wall, the side chick is often blamed for ruining the relationship. Despite the fact that she might not be aware of how the relationship ended, couples use side chicks as a window of excuse to defend their failed marriages.
But no matter how much the relationship with a side chick is hidden or maintained, there are still red flags that would pop up regularly to remind the woman she’s possibly a mistress. Here are signs to figure out if you’re a side chick.
How do you know you’re a side chick?
1. No future plans with you
As I already stated in our side chick meaning, they’re just mistresses. When a guy is in a committed relationship or marriage, he’s bound to bring up issues about the future with their partner. They plan the future together and plan how to navigate their hurdles. It could be about the next vacation, relocation to another city, number of children, parenting style, among others.
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But when you’re the side chick, you’d rarely hear him talk about the future with you. Everything he discusses with you revolves around fun, sex and party. There’s no concrete plans or discussions about your future together.
2. Difficulty in defining the relationship
You’re both adults. You both already know what you need or expect in a relationship, there’s no need beating around the bush. But as you guessed, because she’s the side chick, he makes calculated efforts to deflate questions that would force him into pronouncing his stance on the relationship. He doesn’t want to be accused of betrayal.
Therefore, he runs in circles and postpones every discussion that borders on commitment.
3. He hardly pick up your calls
Because of his desire to protect his main relationship or marriage, he takes proactive measures to keep out of the picture. Your calls or texts would likely give him away, so warns you subtly not to call or text, instead he’d be doing the calling and texting.
Even if you call him in the night, he won’t still pick up. If he eventually picks up, he’d talk in whispers and shushed voices. These are just red flags substantiating your position as the side chick.
4. No pictures of you both together
When you’re in a relationship with a committed man, he won’t have issues appearing in your selfies or photos even if he’s allergic to cameras. It is no big deal. Besides it is a way of strengthening the bond and reassuring them of how proud of them you are.
However, as a side chick you’d rarely have him in your selfies or photos, even if you secretly do so, he’d make sure the pictures are deleted and leave you with a stern warning never to try such a thing again.
This is not about being allergic to the camera, he’s obviously hiding from people. He doesn’t want your friends or social media followers to see him together with you.
5. Secrecy
In the public, he gives you a distance but in privacy, he’s all over you. This should bring your mind to a simple question; why is he not proud of me in public?
When you’re outside, he carefully avoids any personal display of affection. No hugs, no holding of hands and not even a hearty smile. He’s just trying to keep everything casual.
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What is the difference between side chick and main chick?
In our side chick meaning, the side chick is a woman who dates a married man or a man in a committed relationship with the main chick. The major difference between the side chick and the main chick is that side chicks are mainly kept for pleasure while main chicks are for the future.
Side chicks are denied access to the guy’s family and friends but the main chick knows almost all his family members and friends.
A guy doesn’t show his side chick public display of affection but he can willingly and eagerly do PDAs with his main chick.
He visits a side chick in secrecy and secret date spots to hide their romantic affairs but he does everything openly with the main chick, takes her to the gym, brings along for dinner at his workplace, takes a walk around with her, among others.
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What do I do if he has a side chick?
If you suspect he has a side chick, the first thing you have to do is to investigate properly and ascertain your fears. If truly he’s keeping a mistress, don’t make the mistake of confronting the side chick. Besides, the side chick might also be ignorant of his relationship with you. Confronting the side chick would reveal your insecurities and possibly escalate the issue.
You have to ask him about your findings and back it up with evidence he can’t deny. Once you’ve succeeded in establishing that he’s truly cheating, other things would depend on his reaction.
If he’s remorseful and renders a genuine apology, you can give him a second chance if you’ve got something strong together and also establish your boundaries.
In the case where your peace of mind is jeopardized, it is advised you contact a relationship therapist for guidance.
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Can a man love his wife and girlfriend at the same time?
No. What a man has for his wife is genuine love and affection while his attraction to the side chick is mainly based on infatuation. He respects and regards the wife because of her quality and relevance to his life while he keeps the side chick just to fulfill his sexual cravings and fetishism.
Bottom Line
As already stated in our side chick meaning, a side chick is a woman that dates a married man or a man in a committed relationship. Though they may not be aware that they’re side chicks but there are obvious red flags that would indicate their positions as second options.
Some men are experts in keeping romantic affairs outside their main relationship. It would be difficult to figure out your position as a side chick if you’re dealing with this kind of man.