How To Tell Someone You’re Not Interested In Them: 15 Telltale Strategies

How to tell someone you're not interested in them

Have you ever been caught in the situation where someone is smitten with you but you do not just have a place for them in your heart? 

No matter how much you try to create the chemistry but everything does not seem to be adding up. They are still there, giving you all the green lights ever. You see them going overboard to prove their love. But you are not seeing yourself returning this energy.

You can just lead them on out of pity because the eventual breakup would tear their hearts into shreds.

And you can’t pretend to love them because you won’t enjoy the relationship. 

There is no other way to wriggle off from this situation except if you find a way to turn them down clearly without hurting their feelings.

We have prepared this article to give the needed insight on how to tell someone you’re not interested in them.

20 Telltale Strategies On How To Tell Someone You’re Not Interested In Them

1. Be concise and precise

Instead of going through the long and rigorous process of telling them how beautiful and amazing they have been, just go straight to the point. 

Too many stories would undermine the message and pass you as an unserious person.

To avoid creating unnecessary drama, just tell them you don’t seem to have the same energy and you do not wish to take things further with them. 

2. Reveal your feelings to them

Dismissing the relationship without sharing your feelings is immature and improper. It will make the other person question their masculinity or femininity. 

For you to tell them you are not interested in a relationship, you have to highlight your feelings and what you are looking for in a relationship.

For example, you can tell them you’re not ready to invest your attention into a relationship because of your work, career or any reasons which you can keep to yourself.

Read also:  Should I Double Text? What You Must Know About Double-texting

3. Use physical meeting

Remember, you’re dealing with someone who is genuinely in love with you and has invested her feelings in the situationship.

Imagine you’re the one on the receiving end? You’d wish to be accorded some respect.

That is why you have to respect their feelings and meet them in person to end things officially.

Don’t be engrossed in unnecessary romantic gestures to avoid making things difficult for yourself, just keep your message simple, compassionate and straight to the point.

How to tell someone you're not interested in them

4. Don’t give excuses

Some people make the mistake of beating around the bush when they want to tell someone you’re no more. 

Perhaps, you’re feeling guilty for letting them down after leading them on. Such feelings are very possible but shouldn’t overshadow your reasons. 

Let them know you want something different and there’s no gain working on something that didn’t actually exist.

5. Let them know you didn’t feel the connection

When you want to pass the information, they might probe further, trying to find out the reasons why you wish to discontinue the situationship. The guy or the girl may insist on finding out the reason why you don’t see a future with them. 

At this point, you have to concentrate on the process. Don’t be swayed by the emotions that may build up. Let them know you’re not feeling the kind of connection you want. Or you can as well let them know it’s difficult to explain.

6. Don’t take it personal

How to tell someone you’re not interested in them? Don’t make it personal. You’re only not interested in the relationship and not the person.

The guy or the girl is not your enemy. It is within your discretion to decide upon who to hang out with. 

7. Decide upon the right time and venue

The right time and place is key to ending things with someone. Get the appropriate environment and time to set up a conducive atmosphere. A private location with serenity is recommended to avoid distractions.

Public places or environments where the other person would feel uncomfortable should be avoided. 

Read also: Love Bombing Then Ghosting: Here Are The Reasons, Signs And What You Should Do

You can arrange for a brief meeting at a quiet coffee shop instead of telling them you’re not interested during a public gathering or event.

8. Don’t Criticize their personality

How to tell someone you’re not interested in them? Avoid blaming the person for your decision.  

There’s no need to criticize a person’s character, appearance or career. It is entirely pointless because you’re already going to end things. There’s no need to make them feel bad or depressed. 

Remember, the focus is on the process. 

Instead of saying, “your career is not reputable enough for my status,” you can say, “I feel like our future is detached.”

9. Don’t feel bad about your decision

It could be a difficult task to tell them outrightly that you’re no more interested. 

Perhaps, there’s something about them you like but you don’t feel enough connection to start something serious with them. Certainly, you will feel emotional when doing this. 

But you have to understand that your decision is in the interest of you two. It is your responsibility to choose who you want to be with and there’s nothing bad in it.

10. Let them know what’s going on at the moment

How to tell someone you’re not interested in them? State what you want. Let them know why you’re ending things and your next step. 

This would make your reasons genuine and further reduce the guilt feeling.

You can use lines like, “for now, I want to upgrade my career,” “I need some time alone.”

Read also: 10 Signs Your Girlfriend Isn’t Sexually Attracted And What You Must Do To You

11. Don’t apologize

Your emotions at the moment may push you into apologizing to the guy or girl but resist the urge.

Be firm with your intentions and don’t give room for doubt or second thought. 

Feeling sorry is unnecessary and could be misleading. You have to let them know that it is not going to work.

How to tell someone you're not interested in them

12. You can listen to them but don’t change your resolve

It is normal if the other person has something to say. It is advisable to give them an audience though you have resolved to end things.

Listen to them and hear what they have to say about you. They may even apologize for whatever but that shouldn’t deter you.

Remember, you’re looking for a significant other and not someone you want to date out of pity.

How to tell someone you’re not interested in them?

13. Don’t agree to the “let’s be friends” propaganda

This is the mistake most people make. They end things with someone who’s madly in love with them but promise them friendship.

It’s not easy being relegated to just a friend by someone you cherish. It is demoralizing and such friendships often end badly.

Allow them the opportunity to process the news and heal from the inevitable heartbreak. 

14. You’re saying “no” a relationship with the person and not person

Understand that ending a situationship does not imply creating enmity. You can end a relationship with someone and still have a robust friendship with them. 

This is why you shouldn’t make things personal. The focus is on the process and not the person. 

Let them know they’re not the problem, just that you’re not disposed enough for an intimate relationship.

How to tell someone you’re not interested in them?

Read also: Why Is She Suddenly Giving Me The Cold Treatment?

15. Do not ghost them

Ghosting is immature and goes with some trauma. There’s no point abruptly stopping to respond to someone’s messages across all platforms. 

That is not a way to end things. Don’t just cut off communication with them. It’s a gradual process.

Some Other Questions You May Need Answers To 

1. How do you tell someone you’re not interested over a text?

Though, we recommend telling someone you’re not interested in a person instead of using text. 

But there are many ways to create a good text that would still convey the same message just like in a physical meeting.

In your text, make it direct and precise. Convey your intentions within the second paragraph and don’t add excuses.

You can say, “I did cherish our first date but I don’t see a future for you and I.”

“Thank you for the kind gestures. But, I have to focus on my career now.”

“I understand your feelings and I do appreciate them. However, I still need some time alone.”


It may be difficult to tell someone you’re not interested in them, but it is the essential thing to do when you’re not feeling the connection with someone. 

Doing so does not make you a villain. You are only doing what is in your best interest and to also save the time and emotions of the other person.

Be firm and intentional when you want to end things with the other person. Don’t Criticize or blame them for whatever reason. You’re not interested in the personality but the relationship.

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