It could be heart-wrenching and utterly unbearable to discover that your significant other is having an illicit affair behind you. The emotional and psychological trauma would push you to evaluate their love for you and the way forward.
This is because infidelity encompasses betrayal, breach of trust and emotional abuse. Oftentimes, the pains of being cheated on could result in sickness and a painted view of the opposite gender.
In the bid to uncover possible reasons that led to the cheating, you may not find any because your relationship has been healthy and your partner has always proclaimed their undying love to you. You may then ask: “why do people cheat on people they love?”
There’s no clear cut answer to this question because individuals might have varying reasons why they cheat on people they love. What should be of concern is the aftermath of the cheating; the communication, the resolve, the openness and a genuine feeling of guilt.
Can A Person Love You And Still Cheat?
Yes. Someone can love you and still have an intimate affair with someone else. It doesn’t mean they don’t cherish their relationship with you, it could be a result of diminished intimacy in your relationship.
There’s a big difference between love and lust. Lusting over someone is different from being in love with someone. In love, you crave for the person’s attention, care, affection and opinion. You can cheat on this person and still have your love intact for them.
Meanwhile, you might be attracted to someone else because of lust. In this circumstance, the infidelity is solely orchestrated by sexual gratification and exploration.
Though, someone might be in love and still cheat, it is often frowned upon. Because, it is a betrayal of trust and leaves an emotional stress upon the partner cheated upon.
You may still love them while cheating, but, they wouldn’t love you if they discover you’re cheating. The best option is to stick to your partner and make things work.
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Why Do Guys Cheat Even If They Love You?
There are a couple of reasons why guys cheat despite being in love. Self-exploration, insecurity, diminished intimacy, lack of commitment, revenge, among others are the major reasons why guys cheat despite being in love.
Can A Relationship Go Back To Normal After Cheating?
It depends on how strong the relationship was before the issue of infidelity. If the relationship was already shaky, cheating could be the last straw that would break the camel’s back.
But if your relationship is strong and you’ve not recorded a case of infidelity in your relationship before, things could be talked over. There would be a lot of reasons to resuscitate the relationship and make it healthy again. Though, it requires some basic steps:
1. Both partners must be 100% sincere and honest.
2. Allow them to reflect on their actions and regret it.
3. Be convinced of their genuine regret and eagerness to commit to the relationship.
4. Take your time and ponder on the circumstances.
5. Start rebuilding the broken trust.
6. Keep everything within yourselves.
7. Visit a therapist for counseling.
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Why Do People Cheat On People They Love? Major Reasons
1. Lack of intimacy
Diminished intimacy contributes to infidelity. A relationship cannot be 100% perfect and it wouldn’t be all spicy as it was in the beginning. With time, the intimacy level will drop and the partners may start seeking intimacy somewhere else.
2. Low self-esteem
Insecurity is a serious challenge to a healthy relationship. It generally stems from low self-esteem. When a partner is not sure of their confidence and self-worth, they’d seek validation from other people. Why do people cheat on people they love? The quest for validation paves way for cheating.
3. Unrealistic expectations in the relationship
It is advised that we shouldn’t expect much from people so we don’t get disappointed in the long run.
Why do people cheat on people they love? Many people cheat on their partners because of unmet expectations in the relationship. There might have been fantasies already imagined before the relationship started; it could be overboard sexual intercourse or whatever.
When these unrealistic expectations are not met, the partner might start seeking options. It is therefore very necessary to discuss extensively with your partner before committing to a relationship with them.
4. Lack of commitment
Commitment is a sign of seriousness in a relationship. It is a tool in retaining the desire and interests of the partners. It would be difficult to leave a relationship where the partners are fully committed.
But when commitment is found wanting, other ingredients for a healthy relationship would be missing. There might still be genuine love in the relationship, but either of the partners might start seeking attention somewhere else, pending when their relationship is reignited.
5. Inherent sense of entitlement
Why do people cheat on people they love? Some people are inherently selfish and have an inflated sense of entitlement. They cheat not because of a failing relationship, but because they feel they are entitled to it.
Their relationship may be very happy and healthy but, the sense of entitlement wouldn’t stop them from having an affair with someone else.
6. Sexual drive
This is another big answer to the question of why do people cheat on people they love. Sexual drive is a very big factor that could determine the path of a relationship. People whose high sexual drive is unmatched by that of their partner, have high tendencies of measuring up through other means.
There’s this quest for a variety amongst people with high sexual drive and they always thirst for change.
Read also: 11 Things That Happen When A Woman Loses Interest In A Man
Bottom line
Cheating is not the end of a relationship. Though, there’s a popular adage that: “one’s a cheat, always a cheat.” This is not entirely true as there are people out there who are eager to make amends.
Don’t allow infidelity to ruin your happiness or ruin your relationship. The best option is to have a heart-to-heart discussion over it with your partner. If they’re ready to save the relationship, you can begin to evaluate their sincerity and regret. When they show a genuine feeling of guilt and willingness to start again, you can take your time and process everything.