For a relationship to succeed, the early warning signs of a toxic relationship should be carefully identified and managed.
Generally, the primary aim of an intimate relationship is to build a sense of companionship between the partners.
Most people go into relationships, not because of the material benefits but, because of emotional and psychological help offered by a healthy relationship.
This is indeed very loving. It is the dream of intending partners to have a healthy relationship. Where they can find solace and genuine sense of self-worth.
However, often times, many people do not end up in healthy relationships as they envisaged. Instead, they end up in a very toxic and abusive relationship. Because, They ignored the early signs of a toxic relationship. Toxic relationship has been widely defined by many experts.
Concisely, toxic relationship is generally prevalent in intimate relationships. It is a type of intimate relationship where either of the partners feels insecure.
This insecurity arises because of a nauseating or abusive display of character from either of the partners. It takes a psychological and emotional toll on the partner that is probably at the receiving end.
In severe cases, it deteriorates to physical abuse and ultimately creates room for domestic violence.
I could remember vividly how challenging it was for me during my past relationship. The affair was entirely toxic and abusive. I nearly gave up on my career and aspirations because of the psychological impact.
Often times, I struggled to maintain my mental health as it gradually became difficult to create a balance between the infrequent show of love and frequent show of toxicity.
It eventually ended in a breakup, as our incompatibility became more glaring. Meanwhile, I learnt a lot about the signs of a toxic relationship.
These signs will always come up during courtship but, most people would rather ignore these signs, instead of seeking possible solutions.
This happens mainly when the partners are already in love. However, instead of starting something one cannot finish, it is even more convenient to take decisive steps to forestall the implications of such actions.
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With my experience in a toxic relationship, I have been able to put up 10 early warning signs of a toxic relationship. This is for intending couples. Such signs are not supposed to be ignored.
Intending partners should be attentive and judgmental when they begin to observe these signs in the attitudes of their partners.
Irrespective of the love and care which might be dominant in the relationship, the signs of toxicity should be carefully identified and analyzed before consenting to the terms of marriage. Below are 10 signs of a toxic relationship.
10 Signs Of A Toxic Relationship
1. Nagging
If your intending partner complains a lot, there are tendencies that you may end up in a toxic relationship. Nagging is specific and frequent show of discomfort through excessive complaints.
Nagging is ultimately an embodiment of discontent, displeasure, hate, and sadness. When your partner begins to complain about almost everything you do, you need to be wary of such relationship.
Some experts are of the view that nagging is famously peculiar to females but, emerging experiences have proven otherwise.
A nagging partner complains a lot. They find fault in almost everything their partner does. They easily get offended with minor things and are always very ready to pick up a fight. Nagging is an obvious reflection of a toxic relationship.
During my past relationship, my partner was always complaining of my actions and inactions. I was totally uncomfortable with the frequent and unnecessary round of complaints.
I managed to continue the relationship with the mindset that things would get better. Unfortunately, I ended up in a very toxic relationship where I struggled to maintain my stable health.
2. Insecurity
When your partner begins to show excessive concern over your affairs, it is a sign of insecurity.
They begin to monitor your contacts, your social media handles, your meetings and your circle of friends. Such actions are tendencies of insecurity which would certainly culminate in a toxic relationship.
Partners with such insecurity tendencies always make the relationship uncomfortable for their partners.
They do not respect the space of their partners. And are always very eager to undermine their privacy. To this set of people, their partners privacy means nothing to.
They are always suspecting their partners of cheating and infidelity. Such signs of insecurity should not be ignored. Many people have ended in a toxic relationship because they failed to manage the insecurities of their partners.
Insecurity often makes one distrustful of others. When there is lack of trust in a relationship, the toxicity would not be far-fetched. If such insecurity tendencies begin to emerge, it is safe to discontinue the relationship to avoid a toxic relationship.
3. Domineering Attitude
Domineering attitude often undermines the self-esteem of a partner. A partner with domineering attitude always in doubt of their partners’ potentials. They quickly take decisions without consulting their partners and are always ready to defend their actions.
There defense mechanism is top notch and it puts a serious doubt over their partner’s sense of discernment. Such domineering attitude makes the other partner insignificant and less impactful in the relationship.
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Necessarily, one should put the relationship on a hold once their partner begins to show tendencies of a domineering attitude.
Experiences have shown that such relationships always ended up in toxicity. This is because one would always feel offended and unsecured in any relationship where their opinions are of little or no significance.
A friend of mine was unable to maintain a healthy relationship because of his domineering attitude. It took him a good junk of time to make himself lovable. Domineering attitude is among the the basic 10 signs of a toxic relationship.
4. Poor Sense Of Appreciation
Your intimate relationship may be toxic if your partner finds it difficult to appreciate your little contributions to the relationship. One must not fly a rocket before their little contributions are well regarded in a relationship.
In most healthy relationships, partners are always eager to eulogize themselves for their little contributions to the relationship.
These little shows of appreciation waters the germinating seed of healthy relationship. In any intimate relationship where either of the partners find it difficult to appreciate the little efforts of their partners, the tendencies of toxicity would not be absent.
It is very necessary to notice the little contributions of your partner to prevent a toxic relationship. It could be there weekend visits, good morning text messages, gifts, among others.
If a partner fails to appreciate these little sacrifices, it sends across a message of discontentment to the other partner. Going forward, the inability to appreciate the efforts of a partner are among the early signs of a toxic relationship.
5. Excessive Demands
It is natural that one should make demands upon whom their partners. Being able to meet up with the needs of your partner in a relationship, is even a test of a healthy relationship.
However, when these demands become increasingly unbearable, it would create a feeling of insecurity in the relationship. The partner upon whom these demands are made, may begin to feel uncomfortable.
This is very obtainable in many relationships of today. One needs to be wary of a partner who is very selfish with their demands. These demands are often more than financial demands, it could be emotional demands.
In any relationship where either of the partners is selfish with demands, the symptoms of toxicity are already evident. This is very true.
I could remember exactly how my relationship with my high school friend ended. It gradually started from an increasing crave for attention till it graduated into financial demands. We were really smitten with each other but, our differences were enough to turn the relationship into a toxic one.
6. Poor Communication
In any relationship where there is a poor communication channel, toxicity is inevitable. Good communication is a powerful test for a healthy relationship. This is generally true.
Most healthy relationships are built upon good communication skills. Irrespective of the distance, partners should always explore the numerous benefits of good communication.
Good communication keeps the partners closer and more intimate. This is why one should be worried of poor communication in any relationship.
If your partner finds it difficult to give you a phone call or a text message, it is a direct show of their nonchalance. Irrespective of our busy schedules, we will always create time for those that are very dear to us.
This is very necessary to build the bond and love. When there is poor communication in any relationship, the involved partners should be watchful of toxicity.
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7. Excuses
Too many excuses are major signs of a toxic relationship. If your partner is in the habit of giving too many excuses, be mindful of toxicity in the relationship. Instead of living up to responsibilities, they resort to making flimsy excuses.
They find it very difficult to apologize for their obvious shortcomings. Instead, they invent unfounded excuses to justify their actions. Such relationships where excuses abound, the relationship is certainly a toxic one.
If you find out your partner is always fond of making excuses, try as much as possible to correct them. Because, it will certainly affect your intimate relationship.
Research has shown that most successful relationships are built upon less excuses from the partners. This is because when one is committed to a relationship, they would likely find it difficult to create room for excuses.
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8. Poor Show Of Interest In A Partner’s Career
When people fall in love, they tend to love everything about that person. Love is so embracing and accommodating. True love knows no bounds. It is surprising how some people find it difficult to develop interest in the passion and career of their partners.
This has been a major factor in the failure of many relationships. For a relationship to be successful, the partners need to develop interest in the career and passion of their partners. This is why it is considered a serious sign of toxicity in a relationship.
Everyone needs a partner that would be ready and eager to support them in their various endeavours. Such show of interest would encourage the partner to pursue their career with utmost determination.
9. Self-betrayal
If you find yourself in a relationship where you have to change your views and opinions to make yourself compatible, you are possibly in a toxic relationship. Changing your personality in a relationship is an early sign of toxicity.
10. Pretense
This is among the early warning signs of a toxic relationship. If your partner begins to pretend just to appear caring and loving, you should be wary of such relationship.
Bottom Line
Being in a toxic relationship deals a big blow to someone’s self esteem and mental health – it should be avoided at all times. Meanwhile, if you’re in a relationship and notice these signs, there’s a high tendency that your relationship is toxic and already taking its toll on you.
You’re advised to contact a professional therapist for counseling and direct guidance.