How To Be More Affectionate: 10 Surefire Strategies

In an intimate relationship, affection is a physical expression of feelings towards a partner. Affection is a show of love, attention, care and desire towards your partner, through subtle means.

You may not have to wait for their birthdays or anniversaries before reminding them how glad you’re to be in a relationship with them. Through frequent shows of affection, you are always rekindling the love that you started with. 

How to be more affectionate is the typical question of most couples who are struggling to keep their relationship afloat. These questions arise when there is an obvious diminution in intimacy, care and attention in the relationship. Because being in love is not just enough to keep the affair lively. 

How to be more affectionate

There are little but important things to do to spice up the relationship. You have to always remind them of your presence in the relationship and eagerness to keep the affair lively. It shouldn’t be a thing reserved exclusively for anniversaries or important dates, it should be incorporated into your daily routines.

Because you may not know how effective that goodbye hug would be. You may not have an idea how much she’s been craving for that foot massage. Your impromptu caressing may be all he needs to rewind the stress of the day. This is why how to be affectionate should be the concern of couples who genuinely want a stable and healthy relationship.

How To Be More Affectionate? Use These 15 Strategies

1. Prioritize physical touch

Physical touch is a very active and effective means to show affection. It creates a bond between you and your partner which makes it difficult for them to stay long in your absence. 

Moreover, according to research, physical touch can release the cuddle hormones and oxytocin which reduces blood pressure. It is also effective in controlling the stress hormones.

Read Also: Good Questions To Ask Your Girlfriend

Remember, physical touch is not entirely about intercourse, it includes caressing, kissing, holding hands, wrapping of feet, nudges, soft and playful slap, grabbing of buttocks, among others.

How to be more affectionate

2. Wrap your feet together

This may not be frequent but it works effectively. Whenever you have the opportunity, utilize it very well. Put your feet together and rub them against the other. You can also play footsie under the table. 

How to be more affectionate? Wrapping feet does the magic. It creates companionship and reduces the tendency of getting distracted when you’re with your partner.

3. Create sufficient time for cuddle

Cuddling reduces stress and pain. It is among the most effective ways to show affection. Cuddling with your partner helps you to cope with the relationship stress and further strengthen your bond. Whatever intimate you share with your partner is solidified through cuddling. 

4. Introduce verbal affirmations

As much as we know the efficacy of physical touch in maintaining affection, we can’t still disregard the effectiveness of verbal affection. It is better to accentuate your touch game with effective verbal affirmations.

Saying “I cherish you,” “I’m glad to have you,” “I truly love you,” or “you’re the best” is an important way to have yourself registered in the memory of your partner. You just have to be very sincere about it and back it up with actions. 

Though it is good to text or mail your partner, they shouldn’t substitute verbal affection. You have to speak directly to your partner to substantiate your feelings of love towards them. 

5. Frequent compliments

Appreciate your partner everyday. Compliments should be frequent and daily, just make sure you’re sincere about it. Make attempts to notice something different and beautiful in their dressing. Remind them of their elegance when they’re about to walk. Notice that cute haircut or beautiful hairdo. 

Read Also: When God Wants You With Someone, This Will Happen

On how to be more affectionate, compliments work wonderfully. It encourages your partner to succeed because you believe in them.

6. Get a nickname for your partner

How to be more affectionate? Give your partner a good nickname. It could be the shortened version of their original names or anything you know they’d like. Make sure the nickname is meaningful and so dear to you. 

Nicknames are special and unique. It gives your partner the impression that they’re unique and so dear to you. Don’t go for the too popular nicknames because it wouldn’t convey the needed affection. Go for something unique and different.

7. Use more verbal affirmations if you’re in a LDR

How to be more affectionate? In long distance relationships where physical touch is impossible, verbal affection should take the top stage. Don’t spare any effort in deploying any proactive means to convey your feelings verbally. 

8. Use massage

Just like physical touch, massage helps to strengthen the bond between you and your partner. It reduces stress levels and increases blood and nutrient flow. You don’t have to be a professional masseur to do this, there are guides out there to put you through on how to do foot, back or body massage.

9. Hold hands

How to be more affectionate? Holding hands is effective, stress-free, painless and quick. It actually strengthens the bond and assists in coping mechanisms. You can hold hands through grocery isles, bus stops, during an evening walk or even when sitting on the couch.

10. Deal with negative emotions

In your attempts to be more affectionate, you may find out that your partner is indifferent towards whatever you’re doing. They seem uninterested in your romantic gestures and are less likely to reciprocate. 

If you notice this, it means your partner is dealing with negative emotions which may be the result of childhood memories or frustrations suffered in past relationships. 

Read Also: How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back: 10 Strategies

You have to help them find solutions to their emotional challenges. Contacting a professional therapist would be great. Moreso, you have to continue to reassure them of your commitment and passion towards the relationship.


Why do I struggle to be more affectionate?

Because you have PTSD resulting from your childhood experiences or previous intimate relationships. There are challenges you probably suffered in the hands of your ex that are keeping you from being affectionate towards your partner. 

You’re struggling to withhold your feelings, care, attention and love to avoid being played again or heartbroken. 

But that’s not the best thing to do. You might end up losing the partner that’s genuinely interested in you and the progress of your relationship. Try the strategies we outlined here and if the feeling persists, you may have to visit a therapist to guide you through recovering from this struggle.

Can a person learn to be more affectionate?

Of course, you can learn how to be more affectionate. Especially persons who are experiencing their first intimate relationship. They don’t have the needed emotional intelligence to keep the relationship afloat or the experience to show frequent affection.

Such persons can learn how to be more affectionate and use the strategies to navigate through the hurdles of intimate relationships. 


Affection is the integral part of intimacy. Because higher physical affection translates to more satisfaction in a relationship. It is the cornerstone of every healthy and stable relationship. Therefore, how to be more affectionate should be the utmost concern of every partner, especially the inexperienced ones.

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